If you’re on the journey of self development and self betterment, you’ve inadvertently stumbled upon motivational and inspirational quotes like:
“You can do anything if you set your mind to it”
“You can be whoever you want to be”
“Live every day like it’s your last”
You’ll also see plenty of instructional efforts such as ‘just focus hard enough on your goals, follow a strict plan and you’ll have whatever you’re looking for in 30 days or even less.’
Why does it seem that these things work for everybody, at least on social media, but not you?
What are you doing wrong? Why are you unable to make any real changes for the better? Is there something wrong with you?
Before we dive into this topic, let’s be fully clear. There is nothing wrong with you. The only thing wrong in this context is the approach you’re choosing to get to where you want to be.
In truth, many of these common motivational tactics are not only ineffective for long-term success and fulfillment. They are downright dangerous.
If you follow any motivational speakers or if you’ve been at one of their prime events, you’ve likely experienced a quick spike in motivation and energy. They put you in a high state where you thought you really could accomplish anything you want. But this high typically lasts for a few days at most, if not hours.
After the effects of the motivation boost fade away, you’re left feeling empty and utterly alone again. Possibly feeling worse than you were prior to the ‘motivation’ because now you’ve failed to maintain the high of your quick confidence boost.
As a result, your pathological inner critic – the nagging voice inside your head looking for any way to criticize you – will now have a field day showing you all of your failures, all of your shortcomings, and why you should be ashamed for even feeling like you had a chance to do better. This can be severely damaging to your self esteem, the foundation of your inner life balance.
While the energy and speeches of most motivational speakers do sound good, they really only work for a minority of people. Those of us who are naturally high achievers and belong to the fortunate 5% of individuals capable of pushing themselves to the limit.
But for most of us, forcing ourselves to be motivated, constantly pushing for more and more, is not the path to happiness and fulfillment we’re envisioning. There has to be a different way.
And there is.
I, myself, am not what you’d call a natural born “winner.” I’m just a normal guy who wanted to feel good about myself. Find a job that fulfills me, build a loving and lasting relationship with a woman I love, and contribute to the world in some way.
But neither psychology, nor motivational speakers could offer any real solutions.
I ventured out to find something that actually worked through years of trial and error and endless study. It wasn’t until I turned completely inward that I found what worked. And still works, 15 years later.
I built the first and only proven effective system that provides real life solutions for “normal” everyday people.
To get where you want to be in life, you need a driving force. Something that propels you to do your best every day without draining you of energy. And a simple grocery list of goals and motivational quotes just won’t do it.
Because what happens if you reach one goal? You’ll just find 5 more new goals to achieve without really appreciating what you already have. It’s just the next thing, and the next and the next. Living in the future while neglecting the present.
Typical motivational coaches offer band-aid style solutions at best. You’ll get a patchwork of things that seem like a good solution at the moment, but wear off quickly after short term relief. Underneath, the emotional wound is festering, continuing to hurt, and furthering any real resolve. All the while, eating up your energy reserves and with it, your chances of making real changes.
In other words, the need to address the root cause(s) of your issues is crucial. Otherwise, there is no chance or change or healing.
At the core of this “cure” is your self esteem.
This is why we at Feel Different specialize in core methods to build self esteem and real confidence. No quick motivation, but deep inner work that you can apply to your daily life for long term change. Real life changes.
To learn more, sign up for our program “Self Esteem for the Rest of Us.”