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Self-esteem > Confidence

Have you ever looked at someone and thought, “I wish I could be as confident as this person is in that situation?”

Trying to muster up the strength to be as self assured as the other person, finding the right things to say at the right time, all the while struggling with your inner fears and doubts?

CONFIDENCE IS A QUALITY THAT IS CRUCIAL THROUGHOUT LIFE AND ALL OF ITS CHALLENGES.

When we live confidently, we hardly think about this. But as soon as you’re faced with a lack of it, the sunken feeling of smallness can be painfully undeniable. 

The question is, how you can become confident in such a way that allows you to be sure of yourself in any situation?

Right now, you might feel confident in some areas of your life. Or you may feel confident to just a certain degree. But when faced with a challenge, would you remain as confident as you are now? Would you be sure, and trusting in yourself and your abilities?

This kind of confidence is much more than a mere facade you put on for colleagues, friends or family.

TRUE CONFIDENCE IS ROOTED IN HEALTHY SELF-ESTEEM.

It is not the pumped up bravado of “I can conquer the world” type of confidence, but rather a quiet knowing and inner trust that you can handle anything life brings your way. A still and steady calmness that helps you navigate through all kinds of waves and obstacles in your life.

You can have low self-esteem and still be confident on some level. But this confidence is little more than a mask that is likely to fail when tested. Low self-esteem will always undermine your confidence. It will make you doubt yourself. It breeds feelings of unworthiness and lives in your deepest fears and anxieties, bringing them to light at the worst possible moments.

For you to be truly confident and self-assured, you need to nurture a healthy self-esteem.

YOUR SELF-ESTEEM IS THE FOUNDATION FOR YOUR CONFIDENCE.

It influences your individuality and behavior on a fundamental level and in every area of your life. From your relationships to business decisions, to your family and friends. A healthy self-esteem is knowing your true value, your self-worth, and holding yourself in high regard no matter what circumstance of life you may be experiencing. This is paramount for your confidence and for you to start completely trusting yourself.

Never underestimate this connection. Confidence can be like a fair weather friend. It’s right there with you when all is great and you’re feeling good about your life but quickly disappears when any challenges arise.

To build real confidence, you must be grounded in self-esteem. To know your strengths as well as your weaknesses and to accept all of it as parts of you, is to truly know yourself. To truly accept and respect yourself, no matter the circumstance. This is healthy self-esteem. And this is where real confidence lives.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS FEELS LIKE?

To learn more, please check out our program page and fill out a brief assessment to find which of our programs is best for you.

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Why men must earn their existence

Man’s place in the world is that of a potential leader. A provider and a contributor to society. He must earn his place in society. He must carve out a path and create a life for himself and his family. Women and children do not face this same circumstantial pressure for their existence which makes men unique in this way. Without his proven ability, a man is viewed as subpar, inadequate, “under construction” – in other words, not yet a man.

The root of man’s ability to step into his life’s purpose is his inherent power, his masculinity.

BUT MASCULINITY DOESN’T HAPPEN ON ITS OWN

For a boy to become a man, a significant transition needs to happen. An intentional event, or ritual, needs to take place that initiates the boy into manhood. At least this is how it’s supposed to happen and has happened in traditions across the world since the beginning of time.

Unfortunately, this has become lost in American culture for decades. We can look to the military or college as a few basic comparisons but neither can even remotely substitute for the intentional rites of passage for boys to become men.

TO LEAD AND PROVIDE FOR OTHERS, A MAN MUST EARN THEIR TRUST AND RESPECT.

As a man, in order to lead, you must be able to prove yourself and prove your strength and abilities.
This is an innate part of being a man and is directly connected to your masculinity.
This is what individualizes you and grants you the ability to become a proven leader and provider for your community and/or family. This is what being a man is.

Only a boy would expect to be respected and trusted as a “man” without first proving himself as such. Without contributing something to society. Without providing any service to the world around him. This is the state we are currently in with excessive public exposure and means to express ourselves, we are seeing a large amount of self-entitled and self-absorbed boys speaking out their delusions of expectancy regularly. This is what our high schools, colleges and universities are now breeding.

Self-entitled boys are becoming the established norm and it’s a wake up call to reclaim what we collectively identify as men and masculinity. Otherwise, we risk extinguishing masculinity as we know it and settling for subpar boys to take the place of our men which equates to zero leadership, zero progress, and a complete devolution that we have yet to experience.

WE NEED REAL MEN, NOW MORE THAN EVER.

As a man, it is imperative for you to claim your calling, your life’s purpose.
To create your way and to contribute to the world. This is the way it’s always been and must be in order for us to keep progressing forward. Steel sharpens steel and strong men create strong communities and families. The masculine is the force that drives change and movement throughout even the most challenging times. To deny this call would be to deny yourself as well as the world around you.

THIS IS THE ROOT OF ALL MAN’S GREATNESS.

To step into your power as a man, you need to embrace your masculinity and the responsibility that comes with it. This is essential for you to find and claim your place in society, and to become truly comfortable in your skin as a man. This is what grants men respect from their peers, from men and women alike, and separates great men from the mediocre.

Any relationship struggles or feelings of emptiness or stagnance can be directly rooted in this lack of purpose. This disconnect between men and their inherent masculine power.

There is no quick fix or automatic amount of respect or love given to a man just because he is who he is. No man is given anything in this life. He must earn it.

EACH OF US HAS A PURPOSE AND A MISSION TO ACCOMPLISH WHILE WE’RE HERE.
HAVE YOU FOUND YOURS?

Visit our Masculine Program today and fill out a brief assessment to see if it’s a good fit for you.

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Emotional Resilience is Survival

Do you sometimes feel like everything is just too much?
Like the walls are closing in on the cusp of crushing you relentlessly?
No matter how hard you try, you seem to just barely be getting by with little to no progress in your life?
The world has changed drastically over the last few years. Life has become ever challenging and we’re asking ourselves how we will get through it all.

No matter how overwhelming things look on the outside, what matters most is how you think, and how you handle your emotions.

All actions are dictated by your thoughts and your thoughts are what influence how you feel. And how you feel influences your thoughts. It’s cyclical.

Many people don’t get this connection but it’s especially important to be mindful of this in times of deep stress. The need to keep your mental and emotional health in check is most crucial during these moments. A focused mind and relaxed nervous system are fundamental to enable yourself to think clearly and act accordingly without being reactive to whatever the situation may be.

DURING THIS TIME OF COLLECTIVE STRESS, THE NEED TO DEVELOP EMOTIONAL RESILIENCE IS SURVIVAL.

When we allow ourselves to panic or live in a victim state, constantly tormented by fears and uncertainties, the ability to make clear decisions is disabled. This can be stunting to individual growth. People who may be relying on you will pick up on this as well. However, if you learn to overcome your fear and uncertainty, and keep yourself calm and collected, you keep yourself in a state of clarity which is key to leading your own life as well as helping others as they will pick up on this too which will allow them to feel relaxed and at ease.

IT’S NOT ABOUT RUNNING FROM YOUR EMOTIONS OR DISALLOWING YOURSELF TO FEEL.

Quite the opposite. It’s important to be present with what’s going on inside of you and to actually feel without judgement, without harsh reaction or criticism, and without allowing yourself to become overwhelmed.

To be able to handle negative and stressful emotions without suppressing them or being controlled by them is a deep strength that can take a lifetime for some of us to learn, if at all. Without it, it can be crippling and can hinder personal development. People who allow their emotions to control them without making conscious effort to learn otherwise, often become fragile, stuck in a feeling of helplessness, living as permanent “victims” of life and the world around them. Many people like this spend a lot of time complaining, beating themselves up over menial and unimportant things, blame others for their shortcomings, or simply fall into a state of apathy.

On the other hand, those who learn to live mindfully, to be aware of their emotions but not controlled by them, tend to live much more at peace with themselves and the lives they lead. It’s an essential leadership quality to be able to master your emotions and your mind, rather than letting yourself fall victim to circumstance. Life will always bring challenges your way. The sooner you can learn to accept this and develop the ability to stand through these challenges, the better quality of life you will live. Period.

This is a core concept we teach at FEEL DIFFERENT.

To be confident in life, you need to be confident with yourself and able to navigate through all kinds of emotional situations. Especially today, when fear, anxiety, self doubt, and uncertainty are more present than ever. How will you be able to navigate through your life if you’re constantly battling with yourself? How much more energy would you have if you allowed yourself the space to navigate through without worry?

This project is not called FEEL DIFFERENT for no reason.

We have created proven and clear processes to help deconstruct all of life’s common inner challenges to allow us to learn explore and live life from a different perspective.

To learn more, check out our self-empowerment through purpose program today.

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Life hacks for powering through any new skill

In learning any new skill, there is a real journey involved. A series of wins, fails, aha moments and pure humility. Even our most talented leaders across any field will share this. No matter the skill level, achievement and growth will take time, patience and consistent dedication. Whether you’re learning a new sport, physical training, or a new software, much of the journey requires a strong mindset. Even in the most rigorous physical training, the mind can be your best supporter or your downfall.

Learning a new skill can be exciting and eager to some, at the same time, daunting and crippling to others. It’s a matter of mindset and self management.

We’ve put together a few practical hacks to help you keep your mind strong and focused through learning any new skill.

BE REAL WITH WHERE YOU’RE AT

The first step in taking on any new skill is to level your mindset to accept that this is new – you’re not going to know everything from the start. You’re likely not going to be naturally gifted at it, you might actually be pretty bad – and that’s perfectly ok. To learn a new skill, you need to remember this and accept it, at least at the beginning, and stay open minded and open spirited to allow yourself to ease into it.

ELIMINATE COMPARISONS / ENCOURAGE COMPETITION

Constantly comparing yourself with other people will never help you grow. There’s a fine line between competing and comparing so be careful and aware of your actions in this area.

Comparison can be unproductive and self-defeating especially when you’re trying to grow at a new skill. Learning something new can be intimidating, especially in a class or any group setting where we tend to look to others as we learn. In this moment of comparison, you might find yourself feeling like you should be farther along in the process. Like you’re falling behind and should be able to keep up. 

The truth is, you are your own person and can only work from where you are right now, at your own speed and at your own conditions. You cannot rush or force yourself to learn quicker, this never works. You need to allow yourself the space to find your own pace at which you can grow. PATIENCE is key.

There will always be somebody better, faster, stronger and more experienced than you are. This is inevitable, so forget it – don’t even think about it. Comparison should be dismissed and replaced with constructive, friendly competition if anything. 

Competition, on the other hand, can be healthy in that it keeps us striving for better. It gives us goals and milestones to accomplish to keep us inspired and engaged to keep growing. It can also be a fun bonding experience to share with a friend or fellow teammate.

THE HEALTHIEST FORM OF COMPETITION IS COMPETING WITH YOURSELF – YOU VS. YOU.

Some of the most accomplished athletes, musicians, artists, leaders of all types note that they stay in competition with themselves. This means, you strive to be at your best and to outdo your former self, to be better than who you were yesterday, last week, last year, etc. Focusing on your own growth and achievements in this way is a great tool for measuring personal progress and keeping you on a continual path forward. It can help you navigate your personal journey with a clear perspective as to how far you’ve come along, what your next goals are, as well as allow yourself to celebrate any wins or milestones you have achieved thus far – this is important in keeping your morale up and to keep yourself engaged.

FOCUS ON YOUR STRENGTHS

Rather than focusing on all the ways you may be lacking – skill wise, ability wise – focus on what strengths you do have. Focus on what you’ve already accomplished. And if you are brand new, focus on the fact that you showed up and are there to learn something new. Many times this is the hardest part, going from the idea phase of something you’d like to try into actually taking the leap and showing up. You made it!

SELF-ACCEPTANCE

Self-acceptance is part of the practice in that you need to mentally be at peace with yourself throughout your journey in order to stay focused – ego aside. This is a strength that comes with focusing on your goals, controlling your mind rather than allowing your pride or emotions to control you. Challenges will come and go but your focus is your grounding point. It’s your inner strength that enables you to power through challenging moments rather than folding under pressure. Your focus and self-acceptance are both important in helping you to monitor your general level of skill so you can best assess what you need to work on most, what you have already learned and what to prepare for next. Placing unrealistic expectations that may be too high for where you are now is a bridge to self sabotage. Grass won’t grow faster because you’re pulling on it. On the contrary, you might uproot it and destroy any progress you’ve made by pressuring yourself too much which is counterproductive. Let yourself breathe and flow through the learning process.

SELF-EMPOWERMENT IS THE REWARD

Learning any new skill is always a step toward self-empowerment. It’s proof to yourself that you can achieve what you set out to do, no matter the size or the seriousness of it. This can be extremely valuable in building your self-esteem and confidence which is essential to living a fulfilled life.

A self-empowered individual, one who is self-aware and practices self-acceptance, allows themselves the time to grow at their own speed, consciously and confidently, without beating themselves up for any challenges or mistakes that come with the process. To achieve this level of maturity is a reward in itself in that, once reached, it can be applied to any aspect of your life.

To learn more about this, please check out our self-empowerment through purpose program or contact me directly for a consultation.

Respectfully,

Orlando Owen

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You vs. You – What’s holding you back

Over the course of our lives, we become masters in talking ourselves out of things. Things we dream of, desire, things we wish we could experience and various opportunities we wish we could explore. They begin as innocent ideas in our minds that we simply let pass by with no real meaningful reason as to why.

More often than not, there is nothing standing between you and the things you want to try and/or do but your own self doubts and fears. It’s all in your mind.

As simple as it sounds, and as cliche as it is, it’s true. The mind can be your greatest friend or your worst enemy. It’s up to you to train it and teach it how to treat you.

To keep yourself in check is an important character trait we need to master in order to maintain our focus on the significant things in our lives. Weighing the pros and cons of specific decisions is a skill every one of us needs to learn if we want to achieve our goals. This is a disciplined skill that comes with work and work ethic. But at times, these practical skills in reasoning and weighing out consequences in the logical sense can be the exact thing that is holding you back from actually doing.

THERE IS SUCH A THING AS OVERTHINKING. AND THINKING YOURSELF OUT OF THINGS CAN HINDER YOU MORE THAN HELP YOU WHEN IT COMES TO EXPERIENCING LIFE.

Think about it. Have you ever talked yourself out of doing something you really wanted to do? Maybe a project you would have loved to pursue, a hobby you were interested in?
Something you’ve always wanted to try?

But then you thought about it and your mind decided you were just too old, not experienced enough, it was too late to start now, you didn’t have the resources, it wasn’t realistic enough, and many other reasons that seemed quite logical and rational and completely deadening to any part of your curious spirit.

But what if, maybe, you’d given up before you even gave yourself the chance to explore the possibility that none of those things in your mind were true?

What’s holding you back from living your life to your true potential is exactly these things.

The often unconscious fear of not being good enough. The fear of failing. The fear of not being able to meet the standards you’ve set for yourself.

How many opportunities have you missed because you’ve adhered to these fears? How much regret have you accrued because of this? How are these fears continuing to restrict and restrain you in your everyday life?

By giving into these fears, you are effectively disconnecting from your personal power – the one thing that can and will drive you forward in life. The inner flame that will propel you forward and toward the things you really want. By dismissing this, you’re cutting yourself off from the opportunity to grow through new and untapped experiences. You’re denying yourself the possibility to explore your passions, your curiosities that can contribute to your evolution as a person as well as inadvertently impact the life of your loved ones through your personal growth.

WHEN YOU ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE FREE AND CONNECT TO YOUR PASSION, YOUR PERSONAL POWER, YOU INSPIRE THE PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE TO DO THE SAME.

With an unchecked mind, we all have the tendency to give up or not even try, out of fear of not being good enough. It can stem from a number of things – insecurity, self-doubt, past failures, trauma, a deep emotional wound. Ultimately and at its root, it’s a disconnect from your own personal power.

If you catch yourself in the process of talking yourself out of things you actually really want to pursue – stop for a moment and ask yourself, why you might be doing this. Check your awareness of what you’re doing and why. Differentiate if the reasons “why you can’t” do it are actually valid or if they are just an excuse for you to not face a situation that may be uncomfortable or awkward. Typically, this brief discomfort lasts only for a few minutes at most, if any.

And in most cases, it just might be worth the discomfort to give it a try. You may just discover some things about yourself you did not know before. Through the process, you might just surprise yourself and actually enjoy the experience, even if it’s nothing like you had imagined. The unpredictability of trying and learning new things is where the magic is. It’s where you learn and grow.

At the end of the day, we do not regret the majority of the things we’ve done, but the things we have not done or did not try.

By overcoming your fears and tapping into your personal power you’ll empower the people around you to do the same. Share this experience with your family and loved ones and you’ll be astonished at how fast your life can change for the better.

If you want to know more about this topic, check out my program Self-Empowerment through Purpose or contact me directly via email at [email protected].

Respectfully,

Orlando Owen

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Conformity and the Facade of Fitting In

Humans by nature are social creatures. There is an innate psychological need for us to belong in some sense or another.

In varying degrees, a large part of life is about finding our place, our community, our tribe, our “home” essentially. Where we fit in.

For some, this can be a lifetime struggle as they move from phase to phase trying to find their place in society but continually falling short and in turn, feeling painstakingly alone, outcast from the outside world.

To avoid these feelings of being an outsider, whether it’s from a series of rejections, from insecurity, or a combination of these things among other social challenges, this can result in a far worse characteristic than simply not fitting in, which is – becoming a complete conformist.

Anyone who conforms their way through life for the sake of “fitting in” is living a facade. And everyone knows it.

Whether people choose to confront the conformist or even say anything to them about their overarching attempts to fit in is irrelevant.

The truth is, people are wise. We read each other even when we aren’t trying, we’re subconsciously studying each other’s behavior, our body language, our tones and our choice of reactions and non-reactions.

Our emotional intelligence is built in and we can always spot a phony.

WHAT’S WRONG WITH CONFORMITY?

You may say something like, “it’s just me going with the flow to be a part of the collective. We all compromise, don’t we?”

Compromise is one thing. We may compromise some of how we speak in a business meeting versus how we laugh and joke in front of our close friends or family. This is more so our way of being savvy in how we function through the many roles we adopt and adapt to in our lives. At the business meeting, you’re not compromising who you are, you are respecting the situation and acting appropriately to it.

The difference between this and conformity has to do with real compromise and real self-sacrifice for the sake of fitting in.

WHEN YOU CONFORM, YOU COMPROMISE YOURSELF – YOUR PRINCIPLES, YOUR VALUES, YOUR BELIEFS, YOUR TRUTH. YOU.

In many cases, it is a split between who you really are and who you pretend to be in order to be accepted. Some people don’t even realize they’re doing it. They are just trying to act “normal.” As if acting normal means just play along and follow blindly in hopes that no one sees any difference between you and themselves.

But what would happen, if you were to start spending less time and energy worrying about what others might think about the real you, and start BEING it?

As I mentioned, the need to belong is normal. This is exactly why we must follow our inner compass, our purpose, our path. This is where you actually meet and build with likeminded people who become your tribe, your community, your collective of people that you actually identify with and can build deep bonds and meaningful relationships with. This is all directly in sync with your life’s purpose.

WHEN YOU’RE LIVING IN YOUR PURPOSE, THERE IS NO NEED TO CONFORM. YOU JUST LIVE AS YOU ARE.

And the people who share their lives with you, are part of it. These are the people you fit in with, because your purpose and truth is identifiable and relatable to theirs.

But the only way to get there is to stop chasing the crowd. Stop discarding yourself and assuming the folks you are so eager to try and fit in with are actually worth any of your time at all. The sooner you can detach from this “need” to fit in, the sooner you can start living your own life and getting closer to your purpose. You need to become aware of the spilt between who you really are and who you’re presenting to the world and why you’re doing it. This can be a challenging truth to face.

Maybe you’re conforming because you feel you’re not good enough. Maybe you’re doing it out of fear of being ostracized. Maybe out of fear of rejection.

Maybe you fear no one will like the real you as the way you truly are so you have to hide in order to fit in with the “winning team,” with mainstream society.

Overcoming these fears is a necessary first step in detaching yourself from the need to fit in and essentially to begin living YOUR life.

Only then will you find people who will love and respect you for who you really are. And the beauty is, you don’t have to seek out to “find” these people. They are there already and are on their own paths that align with yours so you naturally connect as you follow your respective path.

TRUTH FOLLOWS TRUTH.

And true empowerment comes from finding your very own life’s purpose, your own clear intention, and your vision.

Taking this step is easier said than done and requires real self honesty, inner strength and consistent work. Doing it alone can be challenging at best. 

For me to become the man I am today I had to completely detach myself from what I thought I had to be. I’ve been on this journey a long time and developed a program for you to take this essential step.

Check out my program Self-Empowerment through Purpose today and don’t hesitate to reach out with any questions or specific points of interest around this topic via email to [email protected]

So long,

Orlando Owen

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Preserve your Power – Relationships and Masculinity

To build and sustain meaningful relationships as a man, especially romantic ones, you need to know how to stay grounded in your personal masculine power.

Because what keeps a relationship alive is the active balance between masculinity and femininity. Strong men and strong women form strong relationships.

For you to stay in your own masculine power, you need to understand when you are not in your power. You may need to ask yourself questions, such as the following.

  • What is taking you out of your element?
  • What are you or your partner doing that is weakening your grounding?
  • What does it mean to give your power away as a man?

To avoid unnecessary conflict or even risk losing your relationship, understanding the above is essential.

Talking about masculine power, at least in recent times, many men are confronted with the accusation of being toxic. We’ve covered this topic in a different article , but let me tell you this:

TRUE AUTHENTIC MASCULINITY IS EVERYTHING BUT TOXIC. 

It’s part of the modern narrative to shun men for who they are and many rightfully suspect this to be part of a larger gradual agenda to destroy real relationships between men and women, and ultimately dismantle the family unit.

For a relationship to thrive you need a healthy balance of both.

A man, surefooted in his masculinity and a woman, settling in her femininity. Any other dynamic will face serious challenges and is destined to fail. Time and time again, we see it, and personally, I’ve been there many times myself.

I’ve given my power away for years as what I deemed to be sacrificing for my love, and each time was a painfully repeated lesson until I learned what was ultimately a harsh and undeniable truth.

AS A MAN, YOUR MASCULINITY IS FOUNDATIONAL TO ALL OF YOUR RELATIONSHIPS, ESPECIALLY THE ONE WITH YOURSELF.

To surrender this or downplay it for anyone, is to devalue your inherent power.

But what does it mean to “give your power away” as a man?

One of the most common examples of this can be seen in frequent acts of self-censorship and overly filtering thoughts, words and actions. Men who do this regularly are not being true to their values or virtues, typically out of fear of being ostracized or not fitting in. Men who constantly censor themselves or alter their opinions so as to not offend other people, especially women, are in turn giving their power away.

Not only does this result in a loss of respect from their partner, their peers, friends and/or family, this does long term internal damage as a loss of self-respect and dignity which can haunt through a lifetime and cause real trauma. As minor as this may seem, a simple compromise of truth or an occasional white lie, it is a habit of dishonesty to oneself and can easily become a learned character flaw if unchecked.

Seeking the approval of women or other men is also a huge red flag. Being in your personal power means standing strong and firm in your own truth, regardless of who’s around.

A true man does not care about being liked or disliked. He leads the way of his calling, his designated path whether others follow or not. He does not seek permission to do what he understands to be the right thing. He just does.

Men being labeled as toxically masculine comes from the misconception that they are disrespectful and reckless, the oblivious alpha bully, disregarding other people’s needs and overstepping their boundaries left and right.

But being secure in your masculinity means you are in control, you’re composed and calmly confident. There is no need to impress others or intimidate them.

You know yourself, your strengths and weaknesses, and function within them accordingly, as well as show respect for other people’s boundaries and personal space.

Losing composure, overstepping boundaries and flexing aggressively intimidating behavior are all signs of a weak, insecure man. A man who is not connected to his true power and therefore tries to compensate by overpowering others.

A MAN CONNECTED TO HIS POWER FEELS NO NEED TO INTIMIDATE OR DOMINATE.

But as long as you’re giving your power away and disconnected from who you really are, you’ll likely fall into this behavior by default, even if you don’t intend to do so. Or, another common behavior is to cower and hide from the world, afraid of what others may think of you.

Don’t you think it’s time to connect to your true power?

To find out what masculine power really means and how you can connect, or reconnect, to it?

If this speaks to you, check out our program page and take this brief assessment to see if our MASCULINE POWER program is right for you.

I’m looking forward to hearing from you.

If you’d like to reach me personally, don’t hesitate to contact me at [email protected]

So long,

Orlando Owen

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Defining Feminine Power in today’s culture

Power in today’s society is often associated with masculine attributes. It is common to see many of our “powerful women” portray an image of life through a masculine lens. In a stereotypical way, much of their “power” is displayed through aggressive behaviors and actions of excess – i.e. excessive materialism, excessive sexual imagery and lewdness.

Traditionally, and with some validity, women have mostly feared that they won’t be taken seriously if they are living in their feminine energy, at least publicly. They harbor the belief that they must act tough or strong like men in order to be taken seriously by society and fellow women.

In truth, the opposite is the reality.

While masculine energy is mostly linear and extremely focused, the power of the feminine is fueled by intuition and being able to read between the lines.

Feminine power is much more subtle than its masculine counterpart but by no means less powerful. It’s just different.

Being connected and living in your feminine power as a woman means you’re connected to your intuition. This allows you to see things many people are unable to see or recognize outside of their pragmatic view.

This undeniable power of intuition is seen in mothers and caregivers who know exactly when something is not right with their kids or loved ones, even when perhaps doctors or other specialists may tell them otherwise. In a mere survival sense, this is a great power.


A woman’s intuition and emotional intelligence enable her to maneuver through difficult life situations with confidence and grace. This is feminine power.

It’s “a mother’s instinct” to care for their loved ones.

In the news and on social media, we are seeing female power in action with strong mothers standing in front of school boards defending their kids and their parental rights. These women are 100% connected to their emotions, they are fully present and willing to fight for their families.

Would you say these women are weak? Would you say they are not feminine?

And while masculine power is striving forward and is often associated with fire, feminine power is receiving and often associated with water.

In a relationship, this means working with each other and trusting one another to make the right decisions for the common bond – the relationship itself. This may mean allowing him, as the man, to lead the way while you support and share the responsibilities as his partner and advisor when needed. Conflict usually arises when both partners are too much in the same energy – in other words, both are trying to lead forward in their masculine, or they’re both leaning too deeply in their feminine role of support and nurture. Naturally, relationships are a balance of both, where feminine and masculine both step up to their respective roles and at times and lead in their own unique ways. The ideal is when both partners allow the other to flow and take lead when needed. In relationships, this is what we call chemistry.

By doing so, both partners are allowing the other to connect to their true power, be it feminine or masculine.

Due to much of the propaganda around the women’s liberation movement as well as more currently, the LGBTQ movement, many modern women and men have become uncomfortable to the point of dissociating with their inherent power.

To learn more about this and to start reclaiming your power, check out our FEMININE POWER + MASCULINE POWER Program which dives deep into both and brings a much needed clarity to our collective state of being.

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The Cure for Imposter Syndrome

Searching the web, you will find an abundance of articles about imposter syndrome. Various attempts to define what it is exactly, and more importantly, what causes it and how to cope with it.

Like other mental health conditions that vary in degree of seriousness such as depression or anxiety, there is no absolute cure for imposter syndrome. Nothing in modern medicine or psychology will enable you to completely rid yourself of it. Much of it being an internal battle, the ability to cope with it, and ideally, disallowing it from hindering life, is very much up to the individual. There is no one size fits all.

WHAT IS IMPOSTER SYNDROME AND HOW DO I KNOW IF I HAVE IT?

Imposter syndrome can be defined as a deep feeling of inadequacy, of “never being good enough.” Many have described it as constantly feeling like a phony or a fraud. This can apply to various situations and aspects of life. For instance, someone with IS may feel they are unworthy of a promotion at their job, unsuited to receive a higher salary, undeserving of relationships with people that are “better” than them. And this can range from personal life to professional life which it is quite common to affect both.

People suffering from IS are often living in a state of constant anxiety. They truly believe they are not competent as others believe them to be, even when there is encouragement around them and plenty of proof of their competence.

THE OVERBEARING FEAR OF BEING EXPOSED AS A FRAUD IS ALWAYS LOOMING.

A common trait of someone with imposter syndrome is to overwork, obsessively, to try and compensate for their internal inadequacy. They are typically “workaholics” who are never completely finished or happy with their work. They tend to fixate on flaws, disguise it as perfectionism, and won’t allow themselves to ask for help out of fear of appearing weak or incompetent. There is a constant need to compare themselves, or their work, to others, which is never good enough, further “proving” their inferiority and unworthiness. The internal voice repeating “You’re not ready. You have a lot more to prove. They are way better than you are at this. Do you really think you’re good enough?” And on and on the pathological inner critic continues.

Modern psychology claims the causes for these symptoms to be your personality, your upbringing, a change of work environment or social anxiety. While none of this is inherently wrong, the root cause of imposter syndrome is commonly much deeper.

HOW IMPOSTER SYNDROME AFFECTS YOUR RELATIONSHIPS

Imposter syndrome is, at its core, a manifestation of real self-doubt, deep fears of inadequacy, and truly negative core beliefs. The dominant feeling of never being worthy will not allow the functional space for healthy experiences of love, gratitude, attention or presence to live and flourish. As a result, any potential for a substantial relationship is sabotaged. This goes for friendships, romantic relationships and business relationships.

There simply is no room for real relationships as long as imposter syndrome is thriving.

At the heart of it, imposter syndrome is the controlling and maniacal inner-voice of extremely low self-esteem. It is the painfully harsh living proof of how low self-value and lack of self-worth can limit a person’s life experience. To live with IS unchecked, is to live inhibited and as a victim of self-driven fear.

As noted above, there is no direct cure for imposter syndrome. But this does not mean it can’t be unlearned and avoided.

To overcome imposter syndrome, it requires real self-analysis. Reflecting on and directly facing your inner fears, doubts, and traumas. It’s about identifying these individual pain points and understanding them, so you can learn what triggers them and start to prevent them from triggering you into your smallness of IS and all of its fears and doubts.

This is the first step forward. Once you begin to make peace with these internal issues that are blocking you from growing, you can then start to clear the way for your true self to shine through.

THE IMPOSTER CANNOT SURVIVE THE REAL YOU. 

Taking the necessary steps to LIVE your life’s purpose with intention, vision and, in turn, your self-empowerment – this is the true “cure” for imposter syndrome.

Check out our programs page to learn more about our SELF-EMPOWERMENT THROUGH PURPOSE program. Fill out the brief assessment to see if this program is a good fit for you.

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Have relationships lost their value?

Have relationships lost their value?

And are we better off without?

With current divorce rates higher than ever, people becoming more and more non-committal, our friendships resorted to a text or a social media “like,” and the majority of online dating now being gamified to the point of casual sex at best.

This seems to be the direction we’re going if we haven’t already arrived.

REAL RELATIONSHIPS TAKE EFFORT

Is this the problem? Does the reward outweigh the work?

It takes real effort to build substantial relationships. You need to fully participate and actually put yourself out there. You need to share yourself. What you think, feel, observe, listen to, watch, what makes you tick – all of this is important.
And sharing it with those you care about, or seek to build a connection with, is part of the exchange. It requires honesty and vulnerability. Sure, it may be easier and more comfortable to type out your feelings and thoughts, edit them to perfection, and then send them off via text to your friend, or your potential love interest. And this is everyday communication. But to build a deeper bond, a meaningful connection with someone, you must allow yourself to BE. To be YOURSELF. And to be ok with sharing your real thoughts and feelings, in real time, with another individual while they share theirs with you.

There is a true magic and invaluable beauty that shines through these moments of genuine sharing. A strong force of energy and chemistry can spark between two people during the experience. This is what we hope to find when putting ourselves out there with a potential partner, as well as with friends and associates.

By doing so, however, you are making yourself vulnerable which can be scary in that you may be faced with a situation that brings up your insecurities and self-doubts. It may trigger a fear of being inadequate. Of not being good enough, smart enough, attractive enough, funny enough, strong enough, etc. Not enough – period. The fear of possibly being uninteresting to them, a turn off, or simply not being worth their time or company.

This can be frightening if you’re not in a balanced emotional state or mindset.

But the truth is, to build any meaningful connection with anyone, you need to be yourself. You need to be honest and present with yourself and the other person. It is an energy exchange that requires truth and attention.

The more you give, if the connection is right and genuine, the more you will receive.

And even if it happens to be a mismatch. A person that you just don’t click with or end up sharing a connection with that you desire. By you being your true and honest self, this will more quickly determine the outcome. The more you approach any potential relationship as yourself, the more you strip away much of the unnecessary “acting” and deciphering what’s real and what’s not. This helps you both in getting to the point of whether you actually want to build something with this person or not, and vice-versa.

There may be moments of discomfort in this but it’s much better and requires much less time and energy than putting on an act of “your best self” until you can’t any longer, only to discover that you aren’t even interested in pursuing a potential relationship with this person.

HOW CAN YOU CONNECT WITH ANOTHER PERSON IF YOU’RE RARELY CONNECTED WITH YOURSELF?

Presence is everything, and many people are anywhere and everywhere but here and now. Our fast-paced rush culture and omnipresent virtual lifestyle makes it harder for us to stay connected to ourselves. We’re rushing from one place to the other, from one relationship to the next, with no time to reflect on us, on what we truly want and need.

The deeper the disconnect with yourself, the harder it is to connect to other people.

Connecting with yourself isn’t easy and shouldn’t be put on the backburner as something you’ll do when you can spare some time. It takes consistent effort and honest work. It means self-examining, facing your fears, doubts, insecurities and imperfections. Analyzing your life, past and present, to help enrich your current relationship with you, as well as with others.

Without this inner presence of being connected to your true self, your ability to build and sustain any substantial relationships will be limited at best. This applies to romantic relationships, friendships, as well as business relations.

If you want to discover how to actively build more meaningful relationships in the future and strengthen your existing ones, visit our program section and see if it’s the right fit for you.