Category: Personal Power

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Why motivational talk is just talk

If you’re on the journey of self development and self betterment, you’ve inadvertently stumbled upon motivational and inspirational quotes like:

“You can do anything if you set your mind to it”
“You can be whoever you want to be”
“Live every day like it’s your last”

You’ll also see plenty of instructional efforts such as ‘just focus hard enough on your goals, follow a strict plan and you’ll have whatever you’re looking for in 30 days or even less.’

Why does it seem that these things work for everybody, at least on social media, but not you?

What are you doing wrong? Why are you unable to make any real changes for the better? Is there something wrong with you?

Before we dive into this topic, let’s be fully clear. There is nothing wrong with you. The only thing wrong in this context is the approach you’re choosing to get to where you want to be.

In truth, many of these common motivational tactics are not only ineffective for long-term success and fulfillment. They are downright dangerous.

If you follow any motivational speakers or if you’ve been at one of their prime events, you’ve likely experienced a quick spike in motivation and energy. They put you in a high state where you thought you really could accomplish anything you want. But this high typically lasts for a few days at most, if not hours.

After the effects of the motivation boost fade away, you’re left feeling empty and utterly alone again. Possibly feeling worse than you were prior to the ‘motivation’ because now you’ve failed to maintain the high of your quick confidence boost.

As a result, your pathological inner critic – the nagging voice inside your head looking for any way to criticize you – will now have a field day showing you all of your failures, all of your shortcomings, and why you should be ashamed for even feeling like you had a chance to do better. This can be severely damaging to your self esteem, the foundation of your inner life balance.

While the energy and speeches of most motivational speakers do sound good, they really only work for a minority of people. Those of us who are naturally high achievers and belong to the fortunate 5% of individuals capable of pushing themselves to the limit.

But for most of us, forcing ourselves to be motivated, constantly pushing for more and more, is not the path to happiness and fulfillment we’re envisioning. There has to be a different way.

And there is.

I, myself, am not what you’d call a natural born “winner.” I’m just a normal guy who wanted to feel good about myself. Find a job that fulfills me, build a loving and lasting relationship with a woman I love, and contribute to the world in some way.

But neither psychology, nor motivational speakers could offer any real solutions.

I ventured out to find something that actually worked through years of trial and error and endless study. It wasn’t until I turned completely inward that I found what worked. And still works, 15 years later.

I built the first and only proven effective system that provides real life solutions for “normal” everyday people.

To get where you want to be in life, you need a driving force. Something that propels you to do your best every day without draining you of energy. And a simple grocery list of goals and motivational quotes just won’t do it.

Because what happens if you reach one goal? You’ll just find 5 more new goals to achieve without really appreciating what you already have. It’s just the next thing, and the next and the next. Living in the future while neglecting the present.

Typical motivational coaches offer band-aid style solutions at best. You’ll get a patchwork of things that seem like a good solution at the moment, but wear off quickly after short term relief. Underneath, the emotional wound is festering, continuing to hurt, and furthering any real resolve. All the while, eating up your energy reserves and with it, your chances of  making real changes.

In other words, the need to address the root cause(s) of your issues is crucial. Otherwise, there is no chance or change or healing.

At the core of this “cure” is your self esteem.

This is why we at Feel Different specialize in core methods to build self esteem and real confidence. No quick motivation, but deep inner work that you can apply to your daily life for long term change. Real life changes.

To learn more, sign up for our program “Self Esteem for the Rest of Us.”

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How to navigate through tough times

How do you keep your mind clear when the world around you is in complete chaos?

How do you manage your mental health when you’re surrounded by negativity?

How do you keep yourself centered and grounded when everything is falling apart?

And if it’s up to you to lead, how do you keep yourself balanced enough to make solid and definitive decisions under extreme pressure?

If any of these questions resonate with you, keep reading.
This article will provide you with some key insights that may be especially helpful to you.

What happens when you’re confronted with any kind of crisis, personal or otherwise?

Many of us default to stress, panic, and deep anxiety. This can leave you paralyzed and unable to think or move forward.

If you have a partner, kids or other family to consider, you know that you can’t allow yourself to freeze into paralysis like this. You need to stay composed in front of your loved ones while staying as clear headed as possible, enough to make quick and firm decisions.

All the while your entire world may be crashing internally.

An abundance of turmoil, fears and worst-case scenarios may be happening which can cloud your judgment, blocking your ability to think clearly and act with purpose.

Even if you’re living alone and don’t have anyone else to consider, allowing yourself to slip into this state of fear and panic is a deeply dangerous limitation.

In order to navigate these situations, there’s a self trust that must be embedded.

A deep trust in yourself and in your abilities. To be able to step back, take a deep breath and make the right decisions with clear purpose and direction is a powerful strength to have.

People who can stay calm in the middle of the worst moments have developed this trust in themselves. Grounded in healthy self-esteem.

Because 99% of what you need to learn in order to survive any crisis is internal, it’s your “inner game” that must be strong.

Your mindset, your self esteem, your self trust and faith. This is where your power is. And upon mastering the inner self, everything else falls into place. You can handle any situation at any time without letting it control you.

All of this may make clear sense but the question remains, how do you do it? Where to begin?

My answer is: focus on strengthening your self esteem. This is the foundation of your self security and core stability for you and for those around you.

Because the quickest way to spiral downward is to fall victim to your circumstances. Being thrown around by things happening in your life. This takes zero strength and zero self responsibility but can drain you of your energy and self respect. At the same time, hurting your reputation and character as a balanced adult.

You need to take control of your thoughts and learn how to manage your fears. This is the only way. No matter what you do, there will always be challenges that require you to think and act fast.

It’s the fight or flight theory. And your level of self esteem is the determinant of how you handle these situations.

There is no fast track to building your self esteem. No quick fix or one size fits all solution. It is deep inner work that can take time to grow and strengthen. The good news is, I have developed a method that can help accelerate this which has worked not only for myself and a few of my closest loved ones, it has also worked for countless others.

This is the core of what Feel Different is. My newest program “Self Esteem for the Rest of Us” will give you the concise tools and exercises you need in order to start building your self esteem health. It’s easily applicable to your daily life and made so that anyone who’s willing can do it.

To stay grounded in any life challenges that come your way, this is the best real world method to help you create a solid foundation for yourself.

Start today and be prepared for tomorrow.

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Feeling stuck? Get out of problem solving paralysis

If you’re working on your personal development and trying to change your life in any way, shape or form, you’ll encounter a number of challenges. And a lot of problems to solve along the way.

But while you’re trying to solve each and every problem you encounter, there is no change or development happening. Only stagnancy in what I call “problem solving paralysis.”

You’re so focused on all of your so-called problems, you don’t see the bigger picture.

Trying to fix what are typically minor individual issues without ever addressing the underlying root of the actual problem. This is more often than not, an issue of low self-esteem.

And the reason why you’re stuck solving all those problems is very much the same. If your self esteem is low, your pathological inner critic easily dominates your thoughts and encourages you to push harder, work harder and put yourself under massive pressure. And if you’re not able to rise to its expectations, it tears you down even harder. This keeps you in a state of stress, constantly trying to catch up without ever getting one step closer to where you actually want to be.

Inner mechanisms like your negativity bias, which is our natural tendency to focus on the negative and all our problems, play into this pattern as well. And as long as you are unable to recognize these parts of yourself and see them for what they really are, your self esteem will continue to suffer.

In order to overcome and start making real life changes, it requires you to identify your patterns and inner habits, and replace them with conscious, healthy habits.

This will allow you to deprogram the inner negative and rewire yourself from the inside out – with intention.

As Robert Fritz said, “you can get rid of all your problems and still not have what you want.”

The question is, how do you know you’re in “problem solving paralysis”?

Here are some questions:

  • Do you often find yourself in the “if-then” trap? Meaning, do you often tell yourself: If I only had X, then I could do Y. For example, “if I was more confident, it would be so much easier for me to find a new job.” Or, “if I get a raise next month, then I can ask her out on a date.”
  • Do you catch yourself constantly focusing on just the problems in your life?
  • Are you frequently dissatisfied with yourself? Your work? Your life?
  • Do you often beat yourself up for mistakes you’ve made?
  • Do you feel like you’re always trying to catch up?
  • Are you lacking clarity in your life? Feel like your mind and thoughts are often foggy? Easily distracted?

If you answered “yes” to one or more of these questions, you’re likely stuck in “problem solving paralysis.” This prevents you from making any headway in your life. Especially if you’re trying to elevate and evolve onto a deeper life experience. A life with purpose, fulfillment, and meaningful relationships.

You can’t evolve your life if you’re always stuck in your mind trying to solve what you perceive as problems.

It’s exhausting and will only rob you of your energy and motivation. More times than not, it breeds deep frustration to the point of giving up. What’s the point after all? You’re buried in all of these problems with no way out. Right?

No. Giving up is not an option.

The key to escaping this problem solving paralysis is to resolve the issues at their root. This means going inward to your core and building healthy self esteem.

This is your foundation and the root of clearing out a lot of the inner fog that perceives situations as “problems.” Once grounded in a solid, healthy self esteem, these issues tend to become much more in your grasp and controllable. No longer seen as problems, but life circumstances that you can progress through as needed. No stress, no panic. Just parts of life that you can control.

Trying to achieve this on your own can take years, if not decades.

But with the proper guidance of someone who could show you exactly where to “dig” and what to do, you can start seeing improvements in a matter of weeks and/or months.

This is what we do at Feel Different.

We offer you a comprehensive and effective system to build healthy self esteem. We’ve tried and tested every single method we teach, with thousands of successful participants who have transformed their lives in ways unimaginable prior to our programs.

Start making a difference today. Escape your problem solving paralysis and explore our program “Self Esteem for the Rest of Us” today.

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Your inner critic is your greatest ally

When trying to change anything in your life, there is one common obstacle that never ceases to confront you.

Whether you are trying to find a better job, overcome issues with the opposite sex, remove drama and stress from your relationships, or become more self confident.

One part of yourself will undoubtedly fight you each step of the way: Your pathological inner critic.

Your inner critic is a built-in mechanism that we all have. No one is exempt.

If you want to know more about how to identify and devalue your PIC, visit our article “Exposing your pathological inner critic.”

For the purpose of this article, all you need to know is that your pathological inner critic is 100% conditioned and trained. It is part of your psyche and learned its behavior from forbidding gestures of your parents, teachers, peers, and others throughout your life. It feeds on your deepest fears and darkest memories and replays them in your mind whenever you seemingly need them the least.

Its original purpose is to motivate you and to help you avoid pain. But its methods are questionable at best and at worst, purely destructive.

As long as you continue to heed this inner voice, you’ll be stuck exactly where you are now and growing worse each day.

But there is hope. Since your pathological inner critic is conditioned, you can learn to reprogram it. With the proper tools and guidance, you can transform your pathological inner critic. First, into a more neutral critic, and over time, into a trusted guide and advisor. Back to its original purpose.

This process is not optional if you seek real change in your life. Your inner critic will always attempt to sabotage your plans unless you make intentional actionable changes.

But how can you transform your inner critic?

There is no quick fix as it isn’t something that can be accomplished overnight.
It can take some people years to cultivate a healthy relationship with their inner critic and reverse it into becoming a companion rather than a burden.

Your inner critic can be seen as the director of your inner dialogue. This is what controls your everyday thoughts, habitual patterns and behaviors. Most importantly, it’s directly connected to your self esteem.

What we need to do is untangle all of the unhealthy connections, get to the root of the issue(s) and resolve from where it originated. Removing your internal chaos and emotional blockages is crucial to moving forward and making real life changes.

Typical self-help tactics won’t help you achieve this. The common off the rack affirmations, forced positive thinking, motivational quotes and psychotherapy are surface solutions at best.

The pathological inner critic lives deep within and requires an equal level of depth when working to transform your inner self.

What works best to help you reach this deep emotional layer of yourself is a unique combination of methods used in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), deep weaving trance, as well as specifically targeted emotional release exercises. As complex as this may sound, it is actually very simple once you have been guided through it. It is made to be simple enough that anyone can do it without requiring an excessive amount of time or commitment.

This is what we teach at Feel Different. In each of our programs, we implement this customized method which has been proven effective by thousands of people around the world for over 15 years.

The connectivity between your inner critic/inner dialogue and your self esteem and confidence is evident once you do the work. And the deeper you go into the work, the closer you move toward your true, authentic self.

The more grounded in your true self you become, the more your inner critic becomes your ally. Your friend and companion. Helping you rather than hurting you.

As noted above, it isn’t optional when you are seeking to make real life changes. Self transformation requires transforming your daily actions, thoughts, and behaviors. It all starts with your inner self.

To start changing your life for the better and overcoming your fears, “Your Fate is Not Sealed” is an ideal program to help you begin your journey forward.

Feel free to explore the other articles in our blog and listen to our podcasts. This is all free content to begin your journey to your greatest self. However, our programs are where the actionable work begins. Each of the tools and practices mentioned above are included.

Real life change requires deep work. Are you ready to make a change?

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Confronting and Conquering your Irrational Fears

Right now, you could be living the life you’ve always dreamt about.
You could have a healthy and loving relationship, loyal friends and a job that provides for you and your loved ones as well as giving you a sense of purpose and true fulfillment.

How far does this seem from your current reality?

Maybe you’re stuck in a toxic relationship. Stuck in codependency or maybe your relationship is lacking passion and real connection.
Maybe you’re having a hard time connecting with other people. Unable to make friends or maintain any real friendships.
Maybe your job is unfulfilling. Feeling like your efforts aren’t being valued, financially, professionally or personally.

A better life just seems far away.

Let alone a life where you are passionate about what you’re doing. A life where you’re creating a sense of purpose and connecting to your personal power.

All that is standing between you and this better version of yourself are blockages you’ve created over the years. Your irrational fears.

Because of these fears, you’re continually missing out on a number of potentially great opportunities. Your chances at gaining any meaningful relationships and fulfilling life experiences are limited to none.

This doesn’t mean the goal is for you to become 100% fearless.
Fear can be valuable as a protector in helping you stay clear of any potential dangerous situations.

The fears in discussion are not these types of innate rational fears. The fears we are focused on are those inner thoughts that paralyze you. The fear that blocks you from growing and slowly but painfully eats at your confidence. This type of fear can deplete your courage until nothing is left but self-doubt and deep insecurity.

Some common irrational fears are for example:
The fear of being judged by others for your thoughts and actions.
Fear of doing or saying something wrong.
Fear of rejection.
Fear of failure.

Many people design their lives to try and avoid these fears out of a lack of confidence and self esteem. If you’re allowing your life to be dictated by irrational fears, you are undoubtedly settling for a low quality of life experience. This is a roadblock to your path of true potential.

Just imagine: What would your life be like if you would be free from this fear?
What would you do? How would you feel? Like the famous quote by Eleanor Roosevelt, “What could we accomplish if we knew we could not fail?”

To step into your potential and lead a life of truth and self assuredness, you must learn to confront and power through your irrational fears. As clear as it may sound, this requires deep inner work. It cannot be achieved simply by implementing some off the rack affirmations, motivational coaches or forced positive thinking.

Irrational fears are ultimately rooted in low self esteem.

We all carry fear within us but your level of submission to these irrational fears can be measured by your level of self esteem. In turn, as you start to build healthy self esteem, your irrational fears will subside and gradually resolve.

Your self esteem is the foundation for the life you create for yourself. It is your self belief system and determines how you feel about yourself, how you let others treat you and how you navigate life. If you want to make real changes, you need to first focus on building and nurturing a solid foundation. It begins here and as you continue to grow, you continue to rewire your inner self for the better.

In our program “Your Fate is Not Sealed,” we teach you the basics of how to start rewiring your inner self through day to day practices that can be implemented immediately. Through a few easy to do techniques, you’ll begin to see and feel noticeable upgrades to your self esteem and confidence. It’s a strong introduction to the Feel Different system.

If you’d like to go one step further, our program “Self Esteem for the Rest of Us” will teach you the foundational steps toward building a healthy self esteem. This includes core lessons and techniques on how to confront and overcome your fears through simple but effective practices that can be applied to your daily life.

Think about your current life and all of the things you may be passing by because of irrational fear and doubt. It doesn’t have to be this way. It comes down to what you allow and settle for as your reality.

It’s not too late to start making a change.

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Changing your life and other impossibilities

Change can sometimes feel like an impossible task. Changing things you dislike about yourself, your lifestyle, relationships, a job or career, your location – it’s never easy. But it’s typically for the better as any change requires a certain level of growth.

Unfortunately, our minds will have us think that some things are just set in stone. It’s the way they are. Unshakable. But to make changes in your life, it starts with just a few logical but fundamental things.

The most important place to begin is at your personal foundation, your self esteem. It’s the very core of everything in your life. I said it once and I’ll say it again – self esteem might not be everything, but without it, everything is nothing.

IF YOU’RE SUFFERING FROM LOW SELF ESTEEM, CONFIDENCE CANNOT EXIST.

This is simply because your confidence level is rooted in your level of self esteem. If your goal is to become more confident, your self esteem needs to be your focus. What happens when you don’t feel confident is your pathological inner critic starts warring against you. Tearing you down and bringing your confidence level lower and lower. This doesn’t happen when you are grounded in healthy self esteem.

This leads us to the second most important thing to focus on.
An integral part of building a healthy self esteem is to unmask and transform your pathological inner critic.

YOUR INNER DIALOGUE HAS AN ENORMOUS INFLUENCE ON YOUR DAILY LIFE.

How you act, how you react, how you navigate through life and the choices you make all depend on how much or how little you allow your pathological inner critic to dominate your mind.

Rewiring your inner dialogue to transform your inner critic from a destructive nuisance into a constructive advisor is crucial to making real changes in your life. As a result, the health levels of your self esteem and confidence will become undeniably evolved.

CHANGING YOUR INNER DIALOG CAN LITERALLY CHANGE YOUR FATE IN LIFE.

If change is calling and you know it’s time to take action, this is a beginner’s outline to do so. By no means is this as simple as it sounds. Nor can you attain this by simply reading this article.

Building confidence and finding, or creating, your life’s purpose can seem like a mountainous task which can be intimidating. But rest assured, you can do it.

With the right mindset and proper tools at hand, taking small steps each day that move you closer to your better self are absolutely achievable. This is how it’s done and it’s exactly what we teach and share with our community at Feel Different.

We specialize in self esteem building and life transformation from the inside.
Our methods are practical and accessible to anyone that is willing to do the work – no training or special knowledge is required to join.
Our programs have been tested by thousands of people and proven effective over the span of the past 15+ years.

I welcome you to explore our newest micro course, Your Fate is Not Sealed. It’s an easy to understand guide of practical techniques you can start doing in your everyday life to make the changes you’re seeking to accomplish.  Scan through and feel free to reach me if you have any thoughts or questions.

I wish you the best on your journey to self betterment and I am happy to assist in any way I can.

Please be well,
Orlando Owen

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Is negative thinking part of our nature?

Each of us has between 60k to 90k thoughts per day.
Most of these are repeated thoughts from yesterday.
And most of these thoughts are negative.

Unless you learn to manage some conscious control over this endless stream of thought, it can easily become a habit which for many of us it is.

THE MAJORITY OF US DEFAULT TO NEGATIVE THINKING.

It’s normalized in our culture to the point of being considered human nature. It’s common for us to see someone who’s being blatantly positive and assume that they’re being fake, putting on an act, or just in plain denial.

So what does this mean? Are we doomed for life? Is our fate sealed into negativity or can we turn it around?

The mind can take a life of its own when unchecked. Most of your psyche and mental mechanisms can work against you, and will typically continue to do so as long as you leave your mind to its own devices. Your pathological inner critic will do everything it can to drag you down (very actively). Our negativity bias, a remnant of our earlier days of surviving by avoiding possible dangers, bad fortune, etc., will steer your focus towards all things negative. And the wonderful concept of neuroplasticity, which is neither good nor bad, has the power to hardwire your brain into negative thinking if you don’t interfere.

Going up against these odds can seem impossible. But what’s the alternative?
Can you afford not to?

Without taking action and awareness against your negative train of thought, you’re allowing self destructive patterns into your life. These include but aren’t limited to deep depression, anxiety, self doubt, lack of energy and motivation, and an aimless life of emptiness.

What can you do to cope with your negative thoughts?
How can you counteract them? And best, rid yourself of the habit of negative thinking?

First you need to know, you cannot get rid of negative thoughts without consciously acknowledging them.
This can be extremely unpleasant and too painful for some. Many people are more comfortable avoiding this and would rather stay in their negativity than even attempt to break the cycle. Others go from this first step of becoming aware of their thoughts straight into victim mentality. This is not where we’re headed.
Please be aware, that in a brief article like this, I can only provide you with some surface points and a rough outline of the process. Explaining all of this in detail requires a more extensive medium and we’re doing exactly that in our programs at Feel Different.

What you need to know about how to counteract your negativity is that first and foremost, you need to become aware of your thoughts and thought patterns.

Becoming aware of when, meaning, in what situations and context do these thoughts most often occur?
Upon recognizing this is when you must redirect them to other, consciously positive thoughts. Defaulting to thoughts of gratitude tends to be a healthy habit to replace the negative.

It’s easier said than done to begin with but with practice and patience, you’ll be able to naturally start intercepting your thoughts and steering them in a healthy direction. Like any habit, good or bad, it takes consistency.

In the long run, this will help you become more confident and self assured in any situation you’re facing. Be it confrontations with friends, family, coworkers, or just in life challenges in general.
You can’t fully eradicate all negative thoughts, that is an unrealistic goal. But you can learn to dismantle and redirect the destructive energy of negative thoughts. You can turn your pathological inner critic into a constructive critic and as a result, change the direction your life is heading right now.

At Feel Different, we will provide you with the practical everyday tools you need in order to do just that.

Fill out this quick survey to see if our newest program is the right fit for you.
Please don’t hesitate to reach out if you have any questions or specific challenges you may be facing.
I’m happy to help.

Take care,
Orlando Owen

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Neuroplasticity at work – rewire and reclaim yourself

It is a common belief that once we reach a certain age, our brain is done developing and our personality, our traits and basically, our fate is set in stone. Unchangeable. We are who we are.

While some traits, like our talents and strengths definitively, are unique for each person, our fate is not.

YOUR BRAIN HAS AN UNLIMITED ABILITY TO REWIRE ITSELF.

To make new connections, new pathways for new habits and thought patterns. This is neuroplasticity and it’s technically why you can change your fate. It’s what enables us to make drastic changes and turn our lives around for the better.

It’s brain science that in its most simple understanding can be described as “what fires together, wires together.”

Neuroplasticity is always at play whether you’re aware of it or not. And while it’s kind of the magical wand to change your fate at any time, it is also the very thing that can keep you locked in place unconsciously and unaware. Life paths that become unchallenging, dull and overly routine, are often directly rooted in your daily thoughts and patterns.

THOUGHTS TURN INTO PATTERNS WHICH TURN INTO HABITS WHICH TURN INTO YOUR LIFE EXPERIENCE.

At least, for as long as you allow it.

To reclaim your life and begin changing your fate, you need to break the thought patterns and habits that do not serve you. The first step is becoming aware of those patterns. Start paying extra attention to your thoughts throughout the day. Try to observe your mind from the outside.

Where does your mind gravitate to when you let it go uncontrolled? Are you easily distracted? How often does your mind tend to ramble? Can you detect a pattern or specific habits in your mind?

Once you become aware of these patterns you can slowly start to redirect your unconscious thoughts and replace them with intentional and healthy thoughts.

This is absolutely necessary for keeping a strong focus. And ultimately directing your life in the way you’d like to see it progress to.

The more often you practice this method of thought control, the easier it will become and your brain will gradually rewire itself.

We are creatures of habit. And those of us who replace unhealthy habits with healthy ones, are typically living more balanced and fulfilled lives.

It can take time – typically 30 to 90 days – but the change is transformational.
Put your neuroplasticity to conscious work and it will reshape your way of thinking and, in turn, reshape your life.

Feel Different specializes in creating simple methods and techniques to help you rewire and transform your life. The surefire way to make change is to get to the root of your issue(s).
In most cases, the root can be found in a series of unhealthy habits, and even deeper, a lack of true confidence and self-esteem. This is our expertise and we’ve helped thousands of people turn their lives around.

To learn more, have a look at our programs page and fill out a brief questionnaire to see if it’s a fit for you.

Take care,
Orlando Owen

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Shifting the focus to your strongest self

We’re all aiming to be the best version of ourselves. It’s a lifelong commitment that can seem like a never ending process of development, which it actually is. There’s no final stop of growing unless of course, we completely give up.

As we continue to grow and learn to better ourselves, we’re constantly shifting our focus to areas of life that need attention.

How can I grow my confidence?

How can I be a better partner? A better friend? A better parent?

What do I need to do to become truly successful?

How can I find and create meaningful relationships?

Many people think it’s a matter of overcoming their weaknesses. And that is what society teaches us which can be very much ingrained in our everyday patterns and routines of thought and action.

Our pathological inner critic paired with our negativity bias focuses our attention on our shortcomings, our obstacles and all the things we’re lacking.

It’s logical to think that what you need to do is to improve in these areas. By becoming better at the things you’re not good at, you’ll eventually become better, period. Right? Not exactly.

As a result of this kind of focus, your energy goes directly to your weaknesses which in turn keeps you in a weaker state. All the while, little to none of your energy is going to your strengths. This is where your true potential lives. As they say, energy flows where attention goes. If all of your attention is on your weaknesses, you risk leaving your strengths to become weak.

And the sad truth is, the majority of people let their strengths fall where they may. Not realizing that this is exactly where they need to spend most of their time, energy, and focus.

The fact is, you can achieve more and grow faster, if you focus on your strengths. This is where your true potential lies and what will help you become more confident and in turn, more successful.

Your strengths are all of the positive attributes you have. The things that come natural to you. This is typically why you may not pay much mind to these things and dismiss them as something normal or unexciting.

But if you shift more of your attention to these parts of you, you’ll see that what comes natural to you, might be a challenge for others around you.

USE WHAT YOU’VE GOT

When you shift your awareness to the positive things you’ve already got, you start cultivating your life and the energy around it. This can help enable you to figure out how to further use your strengths to your benefit. This is the way to set you on your path to your life’s purpose.

Focusing on your natural strengths will keep you in a state of confidence and healthy self-esteem.

The first step in getting there is becoming aware of your strengths.

You can do this by looking at yourself from the outside and giving attention to what comes naturally to you. These may be small things like your ability to stay attentive, being thorough, or being able to see the bigger picture when others focus on the immediate details.

YOUR BEST STEP FORWARD

The challenging step is to cultivate your strengths and talents into something more. It’s common to see naturally talented people fall into contentment or laziness because what they’re naturally strong at, others may have to work hard for. This can be a setback for the talented person, simply because they were granted this strength without having to work as hard. This may lead to bad habits, contentment, lack of awareness, or an overall life imbalance due to overlooking their strengths. The real struggle for this person is in their self-awareness and really seeing their strengths and how they use them to provide value to the world around them.

The key is to control your focus. The more you focus on your weaknesses, the more you feed your lower self which takes from you and adds nothing more than self-doubt, fear, and all of your other limiting characteristics.

Shifting your focus to your strengths however, keeps you on solid ground. In a state of personal power and purpose.

At FeelDifferent we specialize in this. We provide practical methods and guidance to help you remove distractions, overcome toxic thought patterns and habits. We help you clear the way to your best and strongest self.

Explore our program by filling out this quick survey and one our team members will reach out to you.

Warmly,
Orlando Owen

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Undoing the Negativity Bias

game-over, netagivity

Have you ever wondered, why is it so much easier for us to dwell in our sorrows, fears, and doubts, while shunning and downplaying anything positive?

WHY ARE WE DRAWN INTO AND SO EASILY ATTACHED TO THE NEGATIVE?

It seems like each and every negative experience in our life is branded into our memory but the positive things slip away into the forgotten. Shouldn’t it be the other way around?

The human mechanism at play here is called “negativity bias” and is something that is absolutely and unfortunately normal.

Some researchers from evolutionary psychology think our negativity bias is a remnant of times when it was critical to assume the worst of a situation for our survival. In early human history, the one who acted like there was a saber-toothed tiger behind every corner was more likely to survive than the one who did not. But we’ve long outlived saber-toothed tigers and most other dangerous predators of the wild. So why can’t we rid ourselves of this survivalist habit of old time thinking?

THE FIRST STEP TOWARD DEALING WITH YOUR NEGATIVITY BIAS IS AWARENESS.

As long as you’re unaware of this default pattern of thinking and feeling, it will continue to work subconsciously with no chance of you countering it.

“Your brain is like Velcro for negative experiences but Teflon for positive ones.” Rick Hanson

This leads us to holding onto negative things, continuing to feed them and blow them up to the point of being amplified, and usually exaggerated, in our memory.

WHAT IF YOU DID THIS EXACT THING BUT WITH POSITIVE THOUGHTS AND EXPERIENCES?

Seems simple and logical but it’s certainly not as natural or common. When you counteract the negativity bias by actively and intentionally embracing positive experiences and committing them to your memory, this rewires your brain to focus on the positive instead of the negative. I’m not talking about just “thinking positive” but about something much more effective and deeper. Something I call “taking in the good.”

Positive thinking is like forcing yourself to be positive, turning a blind eye to the negative and suppressing it as a form of denial. I’m not asking you to do that. I’m asking you to accept your natural tendency towards the negative but balancing it through an active practice of taking in good feelings. Whenever you have a positive experience, big or small, consciously give gratitude to it and lock it into your memory.

Allow yourself to feel the positive, bask in it, and embrace it as part of you and your life experience.

IT TAKES PRACTICE. MAKE IT A HABIT.

To escape the constant draw of the negative, you need more than some nice affirmations or motivational sprints. You need an overarching vision, something that will help you through times when you’re truly struggling and can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel.

In order to rewire your negative bias, it requires conscious and healthy habits to replace the negative and destructive ones that continue to hinder you.

A series of daily positive habits eventually enable you to create space for yourself that’ll give way to your life’s purpose. This is crucial to you overcoming your negativity bias and to start living a fulfilled experience as you were meant to. As we are all meant to.

In our new program you’ll learn about this concept and how it is connected to your inner critic. To start living your life toward your potential, you need to learn how to deal with both. They are a part of you and always will be and the longer you allow them to live unchecked, they will continue to limit your life experience.

But with the appropriate tools, they can be managed.

In our program “Your Fate is NOT sealed”, we provide these tools in a way that’s easy to comprehend and can be applied to your daily life to bring real change.

To learn more, please fill out this quick survey to be sure our new program is a good fit for you.

Warmly,
Orlando Owen