Month: September 2022

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Feeling stuck? Get out of problem solving paralysis

If you’re working on your personal development and trying to change your life in any way, shape or form, you’ll encounter a number of challenges. And a lot of problems to solve along the way.

But while you’re trying to solve each and every problem you encounter, there is no change or development happening. Only stagnancy in what I call “problem solving paralysis.”

You’re so focused on all of your so-called problems, you don’t see the bigger picture.

Trying to fix what are typically minor individual issues without ever addressing the underlying root of the actual problem. This is more often than not, an issue of low self-esteem.

And the reason why you’re stuck solving all those problems is very much the same. If your self esteem is low, your pathological inner critic easily dominates your thoughts and encourages you to push harder, work harder and put yourself under massive pressure. And if you’re not able to rise to its expectations, it tears you down even harder. This keeps you in a state of stress, constantly trying to catch up without ever getting one step closer to where you actually want to be.

Inner mechanisms like your negativity bias, which is our natural tendency to focus on the negative and all our problems, play into this pattern as well. And as long as you are unable to recognize these parts of yourself and see them for what they really are, your self esteem will continue to suffer.

In order to overcome and start making real life changes, it requires you to identify your patterns and inner habits, and replace them with conscious, healthy habits.

This will allow you to deprogram the inner negative and rewire yourself from the inside out – with intention.

As Robert Fritz said, “you can get rid of all your problems and still not have what you want.”

The question is, how do you know you’re in “problem solving paralysis”?

Here are some questions:

  • Do you often find yourself in the “if-then” trap? Meaning, do you often tell yourself: If I only had X, then I could do Y. For example, “if I was more confident, it would be so much easier for me to find a new job.” Or, “if I get a raise next month, then I can ask her out on a date.”
  • Do you catch yourself constantly focusing on just the problems in your life?
  • Are you frequently dissatisfied with yourself? Your work? Your life?
  • Do you often beat yourself up for mistakes you’ve made?
  • Do you feel like you’re always trying to catch up?
  • Are you lacking clarity in your life? Feel like your mind and thoughts are often foggy? Easily distracted?

If you answered “yes” to one or more of these questions, you’re likely stuck in “problem solving paralysis.” This prevents you from making any headway in your life. Especially if you’re trying to elevate and evolve onto a deeper life experience. A life with purpose, fulfillment, and meaningful relationships.

You can’t evolve your life if you’re always stuck in your mind trying to solve what you perceive as problems.

It’s exhausting and will only rob you of your energy and motivation. More times than not, it breeds deep frustration to the point of giving up. What’s the point after all? You’re buried in all of these problems with no way out. Right?

No. Giving up is not an option.

The key to escaping this problem solving paralysis is to resolve the issues at their root. This means going inward to your core and building healthy self esteem.

This is your foundation and the root of clearing out a lot of the inner fog that perceives situations as “problems.” Once grounded in a solid, healthy self esteem, these issues tend to become much more in your grasp and controllable. No longer seen as problems, but life circumstances that you can progress through as needed. No stress, no panic. Just parts of life that you can control.

Trying to achieve this on your own can take years, if not decades.

But with the proper guidance of someone who could show you exactly where to “dig” and what to do, you can start seeing improvements in a matter of weeks and/or months.

This is what we do at Feel Different.

We offer you a comprehensive and effective system to build healthy self esteem. We’ve tried and tested every single method we teach, with thousands of successful participants who have transformed their lives in ways unimaginable prior to our programs.

Start making a difference today. Escape your problem solving paralysis and explore our program “Self Esteem for the Rest of Us” today.

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Your inner critic is your greatest ally

When trying to change anything in your life, there is one common obstacle that never ceases to confront you.

Whether you are trying to find a better job, overcome issues with the opposite sex, remove drama and stress from your relationships, or become more self confident.

One part of yourself will undoubtedly fight you each step of the way: Your pathological inner critic.

Your inner critic is a built-in mechanism that we all have. No one is exempt.

If you want to know more about how to identify and devalue your PIC, visit our article “Exposing your pathological inner critic.”

For the purpose of this article, all you need to know is that your pathological inner critic is 100% conditioned and trained. It is part of your psyche and learned its behavior from forbidding gestures of your parents, teachers, peers, and others throughout your life. It feeds on your deepest fears and darkest memories and replays them in your mind whenever you seemingly need them the least.

Its original purpose is to motivate you and to help you avoid pain. But its methods are questionable at best and at worst, purely destructive.

As long as you continue to heed this inner voice, you’ll be stuck exactly where you are now and growing worse each day.

But there is hope. Since your pathological inner critic is conditioned, you can learn to reprogram it. With the proper tools and guidance, you can transform your pathological inner critic. First, into a more neutral critic, and over time, into a trusted guide and advisor. Back to its original purpose.

This process is not optional if you seek real change in your life. Your inner critic will always attempt to sabotage your plans unless you make intentional actionable changes.

But how can you transform your inner critic?

There is no quick fix as it isn’t something that can be accomplished overnight.
It can take some people years to cultivate a healthy relationship with their inner critic and reverse it into becoming a companion rather than a burden.

Your inner critic can be seen as the director of your inner dialogue. This is what controls your everyday thoughts, habitual patterns and behaviors. Most importantly, it’s directly connected to your self esteem.

What we need to do is untangle all of the unhealthy connections, get to the root of the issue(s) and resolve from where it originated. Removing your internal chaos and emotional blockages is crucial to moving forward and making real life changes.

Typical self-help tactics won’t help you achieve this. The common off the rack affirmations, forced positive thinking, motivational quotes and psychotherapy are surface solutions at best.

The pathological inner critic lives deep within and requires an equal level of depth when working to transform your inner self.

What works best to help you reach this deep emotional layer of yourself is a unique combination of methods used in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), deep weaving trance, as well as specifically targeted emotional release exercises. As complex as this may sound, it is actually very simple once you have been guided through it. It is made to be simple enough that anyone can do it without requiring an excessive amount of time or commitment.

This is what we teach at Feel Different. In each of our programs, we implement this customized method which has been proven effective by thousands of people around the world for over 15 years.

The connectivity between your inner critic/inner dialogue and your self esteem and confidence is evident once you do the work. And the deeper you go into the work, the closer you move toward your true, authentic self.

The more grounded in your true self you become, the more your inner critic becomes your ally. Your friend and companion. Helping you rather than hurting you.

As noted above, it isn’t optional when you are seeking to make real life changes. Self transformation requires transforming your daily actions, thoughts, and behaviors. It all starts with your inner self.

To start changing your life for the better and overcoming your fears, “Your Fate is Not Sealed” is an ideal program to help you begin your journey forward.

Feel free to explore the other articles in our blog and listen to our podcasts. This is all free content to begin your journey to your greatest self. However, our programs are where the actionable work begins. Each of the tools and practices mentioned above are included.

Real life change requires deep work. Are you ready to make a change?

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Confronting and Conquering your Irrational Fears

Right now, you could be living the life you’ve always dreamt about.
You could have a healthy and loving relationship, loyal friends and a job that provides for you and your loved ones as well as giving you a sense of purpose and true fulfillment.

How far does this seem from your current reality?

Maybe you’re stuck in a toxic relationship. Stuck in codependency or maybe your relationship is lacking passion and real connection.
Maybe you’re having a hard time connecting with other people. Unable to make friends or maintain any real friendships.
Maybe your job is unfulfilling. Feeling like your efforts aren’t being valued, financially, professionally or personally.

A better life just seems far away.

Let alone a life where you are passionate about what you’re doing. A life where you’re creating a sense of purpose and connecting to your personal power.

All that is standing between you and this better version of yourself are blockages you’ve created over the years. Your irrational fears.

Because of these fears, you’re continually missing out on a number of potentially great opportunities. Your chances at gaining any meaningful relationships and fulfilling life experiences are limited to none.

This doesn’t mean the goal is for you to become 100% fearless.
Fear can be valuable as a protector in helping you stay clear of any potential dangerous situations.

The fears in discussion are not these types of innate rational fears. The fears we are focused on are those inner thoughts that paralyze you. The fear that blocks you from growing and slowly but painfully eats at your confidence. This type of fear can deplete your courage until nothing is left but self-doubt and deep insecurity.

Some common irrational fears are for example:
The fear of being judged by others for your thoughts and actions.
Fear of doing or saying something wrong.
Fear of rejection.
Fear of failure.

Many people design their lives to try and avoid these fears out of a lack of confidence and self esteem. If you’re allowing your life to be dictated by irrational fears, you are undoubtedly settling for a low quality of life experience. This is a roadblock to your path of true potential.

Just imagine: What would your life be like if you would be free from this fear?
What would you do? How would you feel? Like the famous quote by Eleanor Roosevelt, “What could we accomplish if we knew we could not fail?”

To step into your potential and lead a life of truth and self assuredness, you must learn to confront and power through your irrational fears. As clear as it may sound, this requires deep inner work. It cannot be achieved simply by implementing some off the rack affirmations, motivational coaches or forced positive thinking.

Irrational fears are ultimately rooted in low self esteem.

We all carry fear within us but your level of submission to these irrational fears can be measured by your level of self esteem. In turn, as you start to build healthy self esteem, your irrational fears will subside and gradually resolve.

Your self esteem is the foundation for the life you create for yourself. It is your self belief system and determines how you feel about yourself, how you let others treat you and how you navigate life. If you want to make real changes, you need to first focus on building and nurturing a solid foundation. It begins here and as you continue to grow, you continue to rewire your inner self for the better.

In our program “Your Fate is Not Sealed,” we teach you the basics of how to start rewiring your inner self through day to day practices that can be implemented immediately. Through a few easy to do techniques, you’ll begin to see and feel noticeable upgrades to your self esteem and confidence. It’s a strong introduction to the Feel Different system.

If you’d like to go one step further, our program “Self Esteem for the Rest of Us” will teach you the foundational steps toward building a healthy self esteem. This includes core lessons and techniques on how to confront and overcome your fears through simple but effective practices that can be applied to your daily life.

Think about your current life and all of the things you may be passing by because of irrational fear and doubt. It doesn’t have to be this way. It comes down to what you allow and settle for as your reality.

It’s not too late to start making a change.