Posted on Leave a comment

Your inner critic is your greatest ally

When trying to change anything in your life, there is one common obstacle that never ceases to confront you.

Whether you are trying to find a better job, overcome issues with the opposite sex, remove drama and stress from your relationships, or become more self confident.

One part of yourself will undoubtedly fight you each step of the way: Your pathological inner critic.

Your inner critic is a built-in mechanism that we all have. No one is exempt.

If you want to know more about how to identify and devalue your PIC, visit our article “Exposing your pathological inner critic.”

For the purpose of this article, all you need to know is that your pathological inner critic is 100% conditioned and trained. It is part of your psyche and learned its behavior from forbidding gestures of your parents, teachers, peers, and others throughout your life. It feeds on your deepest fears and darkest memories and replays them in your mind whenever you seemingly need them the least.

Its original purpose is to motivate you and to help you avoid pain. But its methods are questionable at best and at worst, purely destructive.

As long as you continue to heed this inner voice, you’ll be stuck exactly where you are now and growing worse each day.

But there is hope. Since your pathological inner critic is conditioned, you can learn to reprogram it. With the proper tools and guidance, you can transform your pathological inner critic. First, into a more neutral critic, and over time, into a trusted guide and advisor. Back to its original purpose.

This process is not optional if you seek real change in your life. Your inner critic will always attempt to sabotage your plans unless you make intentional actionable changes.

But how can you transform your inner critic?

There is no quick fix as it isn’t something that can be accomplished overnight.
It can take some people years to cultivate a healthy relationship with their inner critic and reverse it into becoming a companion rather than a burden.

Your inner critic can be seen as the director of your inner dialogue. This is what controls your everyday thoughts, habitual patterns and behaviors. Most importantly, it’s directly connected to your self esteem.

What we need to do is untangle all of the unhealthy connections, get to the root of the issue(s) and resolve from where it originated. Removing your internal chaos and emotional blockages is crucial to moving forward and making real life changes.

Typical self-help tactics won’t help you achieve this. The common off the rack affirmations, forced positive thinking, motivational quotes and psychotherapy are surface solutions at best.

The pathological inner critic lives deep within and requires an equal level of depth when working to transform your inner self.

What works best to help you reach this deep emotional layer of yourself is a unique combination of methods used in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), deep weaving trance, as well as specifically targeted emotional release exercises. As complex as this may sound, it is actually very simple once you have been guided through it. It is made to be simple enough that anyone can do it without requiring an excessive amount of time or commitment.

This is what we teach at Feel Different. In each of our programs, we implement this customized method which has been proven effective by thousands of people around the world for over 15 years.

The connectivity between your inner critic/inner dialogue and your self esteem and confidence is evident once you do the work. And the deeper you go into the work, the closer you move toward your true, authentic self.

The more grounded in your true self you become, the more your inner critic becomes your ally. Your friend and companion. Helping you rather than hurting you.

As noted above, it isn’t optional when you are seeking to make real life changes. Self transformation requires transforming your daily actions, thoughts, and behaviors. It all starts with your inner self.

To start changing your life for the better and overcoming your fears, “Your Fate is Not Sealed” is an ideal program to help you begin your journey forward.

Feel free to explore the other articles in our blog and listen to our podcasts. This is all free content to begin your journey to your greatest self. However, our programs are where the actionable work begins. Each of the tools and practices mentioned above are included.

Real life change requires deep work. Are you ready to make a change?

Posted on Leave a comment

Undoing the Negativity Bias

game-over, netagivity

Have you ever wondered, why is it so much easier for us to dwell in our sorrows, fears, and doubts, while shunning and downplaying anything positive?

WHY ARE WE DRAWN INTO AND SO EASILY ATTACHED TO THE NEGATIVE?

It seems like each and every negative experience in our life is branded into our memory but the positive things slip away into the forgotten. Shouldn’t it be the other way around?

The human mechanism at play here is called “negativity bias” and is something that is absolutely and unfortunately normal.

Some researchers from evolutionary psychology think our negativity bias is a remnant of times when it was critical to assume the worst of a situation for our survival. In early human history, the one who acted like there was a saber-toothed tiger behind every corner was more likely to survive than the one who did not. But we’ve long outlived saber-toothed tigers and most other dangerous predators of the wild. So why can’t we rid ourselves of this survivalist habit of old time thinking?

THE FIRST STEP TOWARD DEALING WITH YOUR NEGATIVITY BIAS IS AWARENESS.

As long as you’re unaware of this default pattern of thinking and feeling, it will continue to work subconsciously with no chance of you countering it.

“Your brain is like Velcro for negative experiences but Teflon for positive ones.” Rick Hanson

This leads us to holding onto negative things, continuing to feed them and blow them up to the point of being amplified, and usually exaggerated, in our memory.

WHAT IF YOU DID THIS EXACT THING BUT WITH POSITIVE THOUGHTS AND EXPERIENCES?

Seems simple and logical but it’s certainly not as natural or common. When you counteract the negativity bias by actively and intentionally embracing positive experiences and committing them to your memory, this rewires your brain to focus on the positive instead of the negative. I’m not talking about just “thinking positive” but about something much more effective and deeper. Something I call “taking in the good.”

Positive thinking is like forcing yourself to be positive, turning a blind eye to the negative and suppressing it as a form of denial. I’m not asking you to do that. I’m asking you to accept your natural tendency towards the negative but balancing it through an active practice of taking in good feelings. Whenever you have a positive experience, big or small, consciously give gratitude to it and lock it into your memory.

Allow yourself to feel the positive, bask in it, and embrace it as part of you and your life experience.

IT TAKES PRACTICE. MAKE IT A HABIT.

To escape the constant draw of the negative, you need more than some nice affirmations or motivational sprints. You need an overarching vision, something that will help you through times when you’re truly struggling and can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel.

In order to rewire your negative bias, it requires conscious and healthy habits to replace the negative and destructive ones that continue to hinder you.

A series of daily positive habits eventually enable you to create space for yourself that’ll give way to your life’s purpose. This is crucial to you overcoming your negativity bias and to start living a fulfilled experience as you were meant to. As we are all meant to.

In our new program you’ll learn about this concept and how it is connected to your inner critic. To start living your life toward your potential, you need to learn how to deal with both. They are a part of you and always will be and the longer you allow them to live unchecked, they will continue to limit your life experience.

But with the appropriate tools, they can be managed.

In our program “Your Fate is NOT sealed”, we provide these tools in a way that’s easy to comprehend and can be applied to your daily life to bring real change.

To learn more, please fill out this quick survey to be sure our new program is a good fit for you.

Warmly,
Orlando Owen