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Emotional Resilience is Survival

Do you sometimes feel like everything is just too much?
Like the walls are closing in on the cusp of crushing you relentlessly?
No matter how hard you try, you seem to just barely be getting by with little to no progress in your life?
The world has changed drastically over the last few years. Life has become ever challenging and we’re asking ourselves how we will get through it all.

No matter how overwhelming things look on the outside, what matters most is how you think, and how you handle your emotions.

All actions are dictated by your thoughts and your thoughts are what influence how you feel. And how you feel influences your thoughts. It’s cyclical.

Many people don’t get this connection but it’s especially important to be mindful of this in times of deep stress. The need to keep your mental and emotional health in check is most crucial during these moments. A focused mind and relaxed nervous system are fundamental to enable yourself to think clearly and act accordingly without being reactive to whatever the situation may be.

DURING THIS TIME OF COLLECTIVE STRESS, THE NEED TO DEVELOP EMOTIONAL RESILIENCE IS SURVIVAL.

When we allow ourselves to panic or live in a victim state, constantly tormented by fears and uncertainties, the ability to make clear decisions is disabled. This can be stunting to individual growth. People who may be relying on you will pick up on this as well. However, if you learn to overcome your fear and uncertainty, and keep yourself calm and collected, you keep yourself in a state of clarity which is key to leading your own life as well as helping others as they will pick up on this too which will allow them to feel relaxed and at ease.

IT’S NOT ABOUT RUNNING FROM YOUR EMOTIONS OR DISALLOWING YOURSELF TO FEEL.

Quite the opposite. It’s important to be present with what’s going on inside of you and to actually feel without judgement, without harsh reaction or criticism, and without allowing yourself to become overwhelmed.

To be able to handle negative and stressful emotions without suppressing them or being controlled by them is a deep strength that can take a lifetime for some of us to learn, if at all. Without it, it can be crippling and can hinder personal development. People who allow their emotions to control them without making conscious effort to learn otherwise, often become fragile, stuck in a feeling of helplessness, living as permanent “victims” of life and the world around them. Many people like this spend a lot of time complaining, beating themselves up over menial and unimportant things, blame others for their shortcomings, or simply fall into a state of apathy.

On the other hand, those who learn to live mindfully, to be aware of their emotions but not controlled by them, tend to live much more at peace with themselves and the lives they lead. It’s an essential leadership quality to be able to master your emotions and your mind, rather than letting yourself fall victim to circumstance. Life will always bring challenges your way. The sooner you can learn to accept this and develop the ability to stand through these challenges, the better quality of life you will live. Period.

This is a core concept we teach at FEEL DIFFERENT.

To be confident in life, you need to be confident with yourself and able to navigate through all kinds of emotional situations. Especially today, when fear, anxiety, self doubt, and uncertainty are more present than ever. How will you be able to navigate through your life if you’re constantly battling with yourself? How much more energy would you have if you allowed yourself the space to navigate through without worry?

This project is not called FEEL DIFFERENT for no reason.

We have created proven and clear processes to help deconstruct all of life’s common inner challenges to allow us to learn explore and live life from a different perspective.

To learn more, check out our self-empowerment through purpose program today.

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Life hacks for powering through any new skill

In learning any new skill, there is a real journey involved. A series of wins, fails, aha moments and pure humility. Even our most talented leaders across any field will share this. No matter the skill level, achievement and growth will take time, patience and consistent dedication. Whether you’re learning a new sport, physical training, or a new software, much of the journey requires a strong mindset. Even in the most rigorous physical training, the mind can be your best supporter or your downfall.

Learning a new skill can be exciting and eager to some, at the same time, daunting and crippling to others. It’s a matter of mindset and self management.

We’ve put together a few practical hacks to help you keep your mind strong and focused through learning any new skill.

BE REAL WITH WHERE YOU’RE AT

The first step in taking on any new skill is to level your mindset to accept that this is new – you’re not going to know everything from the start. You’re likely not going to be naturally gifted at it, you might actually be pretty bad – and that’s perfectly ok. To learn a new skill, you need to remember this and accept it, at least at the beginning, and stay open minded and open spirited to allow yourself to ease into it.

ELIMINATE COMPARISONS / ENCOURAGE COMPETITION

Constantly comparing yourself with other people will never help you grow. There’s a fine line between competing and comparing so be careful and aware of your actions in this area.

Comparison can be unproductive and self-defeating especially when you’re trying to grow at a new skill. Learning something new can be intimidating, especially in a class or any group setting where we tend to look to others as we learn. In this moment of comparison, you might find yourself feeling like you should be farther along in the process. Like you’re falling behind and should be able to keep up. 

The truth is, you are your own person and can only work from where you are right now, at your own speed and at your own conditions. You cannot rush or force yourself to learn quicker, this never works. You need to allow yourself the space to find your own pace at which you can grow. PATIENCE is key.

There will always be somebody better, faster, stronger and more experienced than you are. This is inevitable, so forget it – don’t even think about it. Comparison should be dismissed and replaced with constructive, friendly competition if anything. 

Competition, on the other hand, can be healthy in that it keeps us striving for better. It gives us goals and milestones to accomplish to keep us inspired and engaged to keep growing. It can also be a fun bonding experience to share with a friend or fellow teammate.

THE HEALTHIEST FORM OF COMPETITION IS COMPETING WITH YOURSELF – YOU VS. YOU.

Some of the most accomplished athletes, musicians, artists, leaders of all types note that they stay in competition with themselves. This means, you strive to be at your best and to outdo your former self, to be better than who you were yesterday, last week, last year, etc. Focusing on your own growth and achievements in this way is a great tool for measuring personal progress and keeping you on a continual path forward. It can help you navigate your personal journey with a clear perspective as to how far you’ve come along, what your next goals are, as well as allow yourself to celebrate any wins or milestones you have achieved thus far – this is important in keeping your morale up and to keep yourself engaged.

FOCUS ON YOUR STRENGTHS

Rather than focusing on all the ways you may be lacking – skill wise, ability wise – focus on what strengths you do have. Focus on what you’ve already accomplished. And if you are brand new, focus on the fact that you showed up and are there to learn something new. Many times this is the hardest part, going from the idea phase of something you’d like to try into actually taking the leap and showing up. You made it!

SELF-ACCEPTANCE

Self-acceptance is part of the practice in that you need to mentally be at peace with yourself throughout your journey in order to stay focused – ego aside. This is a strength that comes with focusing on your goals, controlling your mind rather than allowing your pride or emotions to control you. Challenges will come and go but your focus is your grounding point. It’s your inner strength that enables you to power through challenging moments rather than folding under pressure. Your focus and self-acceptance are both important in helping you to monitor your general level of skill so you can best assess what you need to work on most, what you have already learned and what to prepare for next. Placing unrealistic expectations that may be too high for where you are now is a bridge to self sabotage. Grass won’t grow faster because you’re pulling on it. On the contrary, you might uproot it and destroy any progress you’ve made by pressuring yourself too much which is counterproductive. Let yourself breathe and flow through the learning process.

SELF-EMPOWERMENT IS THE REWARD

Learning any new skill is always a step toward self-empowerment. It’s proof to yourself that you can achieve what you set out to do, no matter the size or the seriousness of it. This can be extremely valuable in building your self-esteem and confidence which is essential to living a fulfilled life.

A self-empowered individual, one who is self-aware and practices self-acceptance, allows themselves the time to grow at their own speed, consciously and confidently, without beating themselves up for any challenges or mistakes that come with the process. To achieve this level of maturity is a reward in itself in that, once reached, it can be applied to any aspect of your life.

To learn more about this, please check out our self-empowerment through purpose program or contact me directly for a consultation.

Respectfully,

Orlando Owen

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You vs. You – What’s holding you back

Over the course of our lives, we become masters in talking ourselves out of things. Things we dream of, desire, things we wish we could experience and various opportunities we wish we could explore. They begin as innocent ideas in our minds that we simply let pass by with no real meaningful reason as to why.

More often than not, there is nothing standing between you and the things you want to try and/or do but your own self doubts and fears. It’s all in your mind.

As simple as it sounds, and as cliche as it is, it’s true. The mind can be your greatest friend or your worst enemy. It’s up to you to train it and teach it how to treat you.

To keep yourself in check is an important character trait we need to master in order to maintain our focus on the significant things in our lives. Weighing the pros and cons of specific decisions is a skill every one of us needs to learn if we want to achieve our goals. This is a disciplined skill that comes with work and work ethic. But at times, these practical skills in reasoning and weighing out consequences in the logical sense can be the exact thing that is holding you back from actually doing.

THERE IS SUCH A THING AS OVERTHINKING. AND THINKING YOURSELF OUT OF THINGS CAN HINDER YOU MORE THAN HELP YOU WHEN IT COMES TO EXPERIENCING LIFE.

Think about it. Have you ever talked yourself out of doing something you really wanted to do? Maybe a project you would have loved to pursue, a hobby you were interested in?
Something you’ve always wanted to try?

But then you thought about it and your mind decided you were just too old, not experienced enough, it was too late to start now, you didn’t have the resources, it wasn’t realistic enough, and many other reasons that seemed quite logical and rational and completely deadening to any part of your curious spirit.

But what if, maybe, you’d given up before you even gave yourself the chance to explore the possibility that none of those things in your mind were true?

What’s holding you back from living your life to your true potential is exactly these things.

The often unconscious fear of not being good enough. The fear of failing. The fear of not being able to meet the standards you’ve set for yourself.

How many opportunities have you missed because you’ve adhered to these fears? How much regret have you accrued because of this? How are these fears continuing to restrict and restrain you in your everyday life?

By giving into these fears, you are effectively disconnecting from your personal power – the one thing that can and will drive you forward in life. The inner flame that will propel you forward and toward the things you really want. By dismissing this, you’re cutting yourself off from the opportunity to grow through new and untapped experiences. You’re denying yourself the possibility to explore your passions, your curiosities that can contribute to your evolution as a person as well as inadvertently impact the life of your loved ones through your personal growth.

WHEN YOU ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE FREE AND CONNECT TO YOUR PASSION, YOUR PERSONAL POWER, YOU INSPIRE THE PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE TO DO THE SAME.

With an unchecked mind, we all have the tendency to give up or not even try, out of fear of not being good enough. It can stem from a number of things – insecurity, self-doubt, past failures, trauma, a deep emotional wound. Ultimately and at its root, it’s a disconnect from your own personal power.

If you catch yourself in the process of talking yourself out of things you actually really want to pursue – stop for a moment and ask yourself, why you might be doing this. Check your awareness of what you’re doing and why. Differentiate if the reasons “why you can’t” do it are actually valid or if they are just an excuse for you to not face a situation that may be uncomfortable or awkward. Typically, this brief discomfort lasts only for a few minutes at most, if any.

And in most cases, it just might be worth the discomfort to give it a try. You may just discover some things about yourself you did not know before. Through the process, you might just surprise yourself and actually enjoy the experience, even if it’s nothing like you had imagined. The unpredictability of trying and learning new things is where the magic is. It’s where you learn and grow.

At the end of the day, we do not regret the majority of the things we’ve done, but the things we have not done or did not try.

By overcoming your fears and tapping into your personal power you’ll empower the people around you to do the same. Share this experience with your family and loved ones and you’ll be astonished at how fast your life can change for the better.

If you want to know more about this topic, check out my program Self-Empowerment through Purpose or contact me directly via email at [email protected].

Respectfully,

Orlando Owen

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Conformity and the Facade of Fitting In

Humans by nature are social creatures. There is an innate psychological need for us to belong in some sense or another.

In varying degrees, a large part of life is about finding our place, our community, our tribe, our “home” essentially. Where we fit in.

For some, this can be a lifetime struggle as they move from phase to phase trying to find their place in society but continually falling short and in turn, feeling painstakingly alone, outcast from the outside world.

To avoid these feelings of being an outsider, whether it’s from a series of rejections, from insecurity, or a combination of these things among other social challenges, this can result in a far worse characteristic than simply not fitting in, which is – becoming a complete conformist.

Anyone who conforms their way through life for the sake of “fitting in” is living a facade. And everyone knows it.

Whether people choose to confront the conformist or even say anything to them about their overarching attempts to fit in is irrelevant.

The truth is, people are wise. We read each other even when we aren’t trying, we’re subconsciously studying each other’s behavior, our body language, our tones and our choice of reactions and non-reactions.

Our emotional intelligence is built in and we can always spot a phony.

WHAT’S WRONG WITH CONFORMITY?

You may say something like, “it’s just me going with the flow to be a part of the collective. We all compromise, don’t we?”

Compromise is one thing. We may compromise some of how we speak in a business meeting versus how we laugh and joke in front of our close friends or family. This is more so our way of being savvy in how we function through the many roles we adopt and adapt to in our lives. At the business meeting, you’re not compromising who you are, you are respecting the situation and acting appropriately to it.

The difference between this and conformity has to do with real compromise and real self-sacrifice for the sake of fitting in.

WHEN YOU CONFORM, YOU COMPROMISE YOURSELF – YOUR PRINCIPLES, YOUR VALUES, YOUR BELIEFS, YOUR TRUTH. YOU.

In many cases, it is a split between who you really are and who you pretend to be in order to be accepted. Some people don’t even realize they’re doing it. They are just trying to act “normal.” As if acting normal means just play along and follow blindly in hopes that no one sees any difference between you and themselves.

But what would happen, if you were to start spending less time and energy worrying about what others might think about the real you, and start BEING it?

As I mentioned, the need to belong is normal. This is exactly why we must follow our inner compass, our purpose, our path. This is where you actually meet and build with likeminded people who become your tribe, your community, your collective of people that you actually identify with and can build deep bonds and meaningful relationships with. This is all directly in sync with your life’s purpose.

WHEN YOU’RE LIVING IN YOUR PURPOSE, THERE IS NO NEED TO CONFORM. YOU JUST LIVE AS YOU ARE.

And the people who share their lives with you, are part of it. These are the people you fit in with, because your purpose and truth is identifiable and relatable to theirs.

But the only way to get there is to stop chasing the crowd. Stop discarding yourself and assuming the folks you are so eager to try and fit in with are actually worth any of your time at all. The sooner you can detach from this “need” to fit in, the sooner you can start living your own life and getting closer to your purpose. You need to become aware of the spilt between who you really are and who you’re presenting to the world and why you’re doing it. This can be a challenging truth to face.

Maybe you’re conforming because you feel you’re not good enough. Maybe you’re doing it out of fear of being ostracized. Maybe out of fear of rejection.

Maybe you fear no one will like the real you as the way you truly are so you have to hide in order to fit in with the “winning team,” with mainstream society.

Overcoming these fears is a necessary first step in detaching yourself from the need to fit in and essentially to begin living YOUR life.

Only then will you find people who will love and respect you for who you really are. And the beauty is, you don’t have to seek out to “find” these people. They are there already and are on their own paths that align with yours so you naturally connect as you follow your respective path.

TRUTH FOLLOWS TRUTH.

And true empowerment comes from finding your very own life’s purpose, your own clear intention, and your vision.

Taking this step is easier said than done and requires real self honesty, inner strength and consistent work. Doing it alone can be challenging at best. 

For me to become the man I am today I had to completely detach myself from what I thought I had to be. I’ve been on this journey a long time and developed a program for you to take this essential step.

Check out my program Self-Empowerment through Purpose today and don’t hesitate to reach out with any questions or specific points of interest around this topic via email to [email protected]

So long,

Orlando Owen

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The Cure for Imposter Syndrome

Searching the web, you will find an abundance of articles about imposter syndrome. Various attempts to define what it is exactly, and more importantly, what causes it and how to cope with it.

Like other mental health conditions that vary in degree of seriousness such as depression or anxiety, there is no absolute cure for imposter syndrome. Nothing in modern medicine or psychology will enable you to completely rid yourself of it. Much of it being an internal battle, the ability to cope with it, and ideally, disallowing it from hindering life, is very much up to the individual. There is no one size fits all.

WHAT IS IMPOSTER SYNDROME AND HOW DO I KNOW IF I HAVE IT?

Imposter syndrome can be defined as a deep feeling of inadequacy, of “never being good enough.” Many have described it as constantly feeling like a phony or a fraud. This can apply to various situations and aspects of life. For instance, someone with IS may feel they are unworthy of a promotion at their job, unsuited to receive a higher salary, undeserving of relationships with people that are “better” than them. And this can range from personal life to professional life which it is quite common to affect both.

People suffering from IS are often living in a state of constant anxiety. They truly believe they are not competent as others believe them to be, even when there is encouragement around them and plenty of proof of their competence.

THE OVERBEARING FEAR OF BEING EXPOSED AS A FRAUD IS ALWAYS LOOMING.

A common trait of someone with imposter syndrome is to overwork, obsessively, to try and compensate for their internal inadequacy. They are typically “workaholics” who are never completely finished or happy with their work. They tend to fixate on flaws, disguise it as perfectionism, and won’t allow themselves to ask for help out of fear of appearing weak or incompetent. There is a constant need to compare themselves, or their work, to others, which is never good enough, further “proving” their inferiority and unworthiness. The internal voice repeating “You’re not ready. You have a lot more to prove. They are way better than you are at this. Do you really think you’re good enough?” And on and on the pathological inner critic continues.

Modern psychology claims the causes for these symptoms to be your personality, your upbringing, a change of work environment or social anxiety. While none of this is inherently wrong, the root cause of imposter syndrome is commonly much deeper.

HOW IMPOSTER SYNDROME AFFECTS YOUR RELATIONSHIPS

Imposter syndrome is, at its core, a manifestation of real self-doubt, deep fears of inadequacy, and truly negative core beliefs. The dominant feeling of never being worthy will not allow the functional space for healthy experiences of love, gratitude, attention or presence to live and flourish. As a result, any potential for a substantial relationship is sabotaged. This goes for friendships, romantic relationships and business relationships.

There simply is no room for real relationships as long as imposter syndrome is thriving.

At the heart of it, imposter syndrome is the controlling and maniacal inner-voice of extremely low self-esteem. It is the painfully harsh living proof of how low self-value and lack of self-worth can limit a person’s life experience. To live with IS unchecked, is to live inhibited and as a victim of self-driven fear.

As noted above, there is no direct cure for imposter syndrome. But this does not mean it can’t be unlearned and avoided.

To overcome imposter syndrome, it requires real self-analysis. Reflecting on and directly facing your inner fears, doubts, and traumas. It’s about identifying these individual pain points and understanding them, so you can learn what triggers them and start to prevent them from triggering you into your smallness of IS and all of its fears and doubts.

This is the first step forward. Once you begin to make peace with these internal issues that are blocking you from growing, you can then start to clear the way for your true self to shine through.

THE IMPOSTER CANNOT SURVIVE THE REAL YOU. 

Taking the necessary steps to LIVE your life’s purpose with intention, vision and, in turn, your self-empowerment – this is the true “cure” for imposter syndrome.

Check out our programs page to learn more about our SELF-EMPOWERMENT THROUGH PURPOSE program. Fill out the brief assessment to see if this program is a good fit for you.

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Have relationships lost their value?

Have relationships lost their value?

And are we better off without?

With current divorce rates higher than ever, people becoming more and more non-committal, our friendships resorted to a text or a social media “like,” and the majority of online dating now being gamified to the point of casual sex at best.

This seems to be the direction we’re going if we haven’t already arrived.

REAL RELATIONSHIPS TAKE EFFORT

Is this the problem? Does the reward outweigh the work?

It takes real effort to build substantial relationships. You need to fully participate and actually put yourself out there. You need to share yourself. What you think, feel, observe, listen to, watch, what makes you tick – all of this is important.
And sharing it with those you care about, or seek to build a connection with, is part of the exchange. It requires honesty and vulnerability. Sure, it may be easier and more comfortable to type out your feelings and thoughts, edit them to perfection, and then send them off via text to your friend, or your potential love interest. And this is everyday communication. But to build a deeper bond, a meaningful connection with someone, you must allow yourself to BE. To be YOURSELF. And to be ok with sharing your real thoughts and feelings, in real time, with another individual while they share theirs with you.

There is a true magic and invaluable beauty that shines through these moments of genuine sharing. A strong force of energy and chemistry can spark between two people during the experience. This is what we hope to find when putting ourselves out there with a potential partner, as well as with friends and associates.

By doing so, however, you are making yourself vulnerable which can be scary in that you may be faced with a situation that brings up your insecurities and self-doubts. It may trigger a fear of being inadequate. Of not being good enough, smart enough, attractive enough, funny enough, strong enough, etc. Not enough – period. The fear of possibly being uninteresting to them, a turn off, or simply not being worth their time or company.

This can be frightening if you’re not in a balanced emotional state or mindset.

But the truth is, to build any meaningful connection with anyone, you need to be yourself. You need to be honest and present with yourself and the other person. It is an energy exchange that requires truth and attention.

The more you give, if the connection is right and genuine, the more you will receive.

And even if it happens to be a mismatch. A person that you just don’t click with or end up sharing a connection with that you desire. By you being your true and honest self, this will more quickly determine the outcome. The more you approach any potential relationship as yourself, the more you strip away much of the unnecessary “acting” and deciphering what’s real and what’s not. This helps you both in getting to the point of whether you actually want to build something with this person or not, and vice-versa.

There may be moments of discomfort in this but it’s much better and requires much less time and energy than putting on an act of “your best self” until you can’t any longer, only to discover that you aren’t even interested in pursuing a potential relationship with this person.

HOW CAN YOU CONNECT WITH ANOTHER PERSON IF YOU’RE RARELY CONNECTED WITH YOURSELF?

Presence is everything, and many people are anywhere and everywhere but here and now. Our fast-paced rush culture and omnipresent virtual lifestyle makes it harder for us to stay connected to ourselves. We’re rushing from one place to the other, from one relationship to the next, with no time to reflect on us, on what we truly want and need.

The deeper the disconnect with yourself, the harder it is to connect to other people.

Connecting with yourself isn’t easy and shouldn’t be put on the backburner as something you’ll do when you can spare some time. It takes consistent effort and honest work. It means self-examining, facing your fears, doubts, insecurities and imperfections. Analyzing your life, past and present, to help enrich your current relationship with you, as well as with others.

Without this inner presence of being connected to your true self, your ability to build and sustain any substantial relationships will be limited at best. This applies to romantic relationships, friendships, as well as business relations.

If you want to discover how to actively build more meaningful relationships in the future and strengthen your existing ones, visit our program section and see if it’s the right fit for you.

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Masculine Power vs. Feminine Power

At their core, masculine power is very different from feminine power.

However, society will lead us to believe there is only one kind of power – the masculine. In a historical leadership context, this may hold truth as the majority of leaders have indeed been men. The interpretation here could be that a woman must learn to become strong like a man, or masculine, to succeed, to lead, to be taken seriously in life, and to become powerful.

The opposite is actually true. Our image of what being masculine or feminine is, has become distorted by false imagery and agenda driven propaganda to the point of mass confusion. It’s understandable that our perception is unclear as to what masculine power and feminine power is and how they differ, but this doesn’t make it acceptable.

Our stereotypical viewpoint of being feminine as a woman, for example, is associated with being submissive, timid, weak, conditioned to be nice, tame and proper.

On the contrary, the real strength of a woman lies in her feminine power which is completely disarming through grace, composure, and strong will.

A feminine woman is independent and strong, connected to her truth, relaxed in her being, and confident in her purpose.

She knows her self-worth, is unwavering in her word and follows her immutable intuition to help lead her through her life’s path.

A man that is connected to his masculine power has a strong sense of his reality, stands behind his principles, and has a clear purpose in life.

He knows his path and will follow his purpose, with or without a crowd to support him. He is a true alpha. A leader of his own destiny.

A domineering man, on the other hand, is almost the exact opposite of a true alpha. He is insecure and disconnected from his true source of power, therefore he needs a crowd of others around him for constant support, ego boosts, and he typically insults others to feel superior. This energy is destructive and in no way reflects authentic masculine power.

One way to test and measure the levels of authentic masculine power and feminine power is to observe one’s romantic relationship. If the woman plays more of the dominant role in the relationship, there is a good chance of imbalance whereas she is stripping her man of his masculine power, thus leading him to be the submissive one in the relationship. The roles are reversed in terms of a traditional dynamic where the man is generally the dominant and the woman is the submissive.

The same applies for men who give away all of their power in their relationship. If the man is constantly trying to appease his woman, putting her and her needs above his own, and making her the center of his entire life, he’s living in a codependent energy. He’s playing the feminine which puts her in position to lead as the masculine energy in the relationship.

To be clear about the above examples, there is naturally a varying balance between both. It’s rare in any substantial relationship where one completely dominates and the other completely submits in every aspect of their relationship. The examples are to help differentiate between true masculine power and authentic feminine power.

In conclusion, no one in either scenario is connected to their own inherent power, masculine or feminine. Relationships like these are operating from an unnatural root and most commonly fail and destruct quickly, or only sustain to become codependent or abusive.

If you want to connect to your personal power and live in your greater purpose – men, you must learn to connect to your masculine energy – and women, you must learn to connect to your feminine energy. It’s inherent and it’s imperative.

THERE IS NOTHING EVOLVED OR PROGRESSIVE ABOUT DISMISSING YOUR MASCULINE OR FEMININE POWER.

Learn to embrace it, nurture, and share it with your loved ones and the world around you. Start living life as your true, authentic self.

Contact us today to learn more about our programs on Masculine Power and Feminine Power. Email [email protected] and type “Masculine Power” and/or “Feminine Power” in the subject line.

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Masculinity doesn’t happen on its own

Part of the hero’s journey is to live for a greater purpose than ourselves. For men, pertaining to masculinity, this involves sacrificing our boyish ways and our self-serving desires to create space for our greater selves to grow and thrive. This is what we refer to as our MASCULINE POWER, our nature-given strength and energy, meant to serve, not only our immediate circle (family, friends, etc.), but also in a universal sense, to contribute to the greater whole as a member of society.

MASCULINITY IS ESSENTIAL TO THE BALANCE OF OUR HUMAN EXISTENCE.

In our current times and for decades now, masculinity has been tainted and is at deep risk of being lost completely through stigmatization and consistent propagandized demonization, primarily by the left. The term “toxic masculinity” has been coded into our language and cultural mindset so deeply mainstream that now, a man that shows any sign of masculinity is mocked and/or dismissed as being “toxic.” This puts our men in fear and in a state of shame for just being MEN.

This is very dangerous and, in a strategic power play, can be seen as a global weapon being used to dismantle our country’s power and to ultimately destroy our society by knocking us completely out of our natural balance. As they say, it starts at home.

If our boys are not being taught or initiated into manhood, and are actually being discouraged from it, where will this leave our men?

To learn more about how to embrace, nurture and support masculinity, for yourself or for someone you know, contact us here ([email protected]) and type the word ‘MASCULINE’ in the subject line. Someone will reach you shortly.

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Imprisoned By Anxiety, Overpower Your Fear

The world is a dangerous place and life always ends deadly.
“Memento mori”

Living in western society we have been fairly sheltered from many of the dangers and cruelties of the world around us. But throughout the pandemic and in light of recent events, there is a collective anxiety growing among us. This is the inevitable impact of any war and/or event of mass violence.

Feelings of anxiety, panic, and fear creep into our lives, into our thoughts and into our souls. We’re looking at these events unfolding, in shock and helpless, unable to “do something about it.” Humans watching other humans in pain, violence, and death breeds an enormous amount of fear and reaction within us.

Real threats to the peace and freedoms that many of us take for granted in the west are becoming more and more commonplace as we’re watching, transfixed, seeing the world as we know it, fall apart.

Is it not normal to be afraid in a situation like this?
Afraid for your loved ones, for your future, for your country?

Fear is a natural reaction to a situation like the one we’re witnessing right now. But we need to be very careful not to be consumed by it.

“Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.“ – Frank Herbert, Dune

Yes, fear as a reaction is natural – but at what cost?

Fear can render you unable to think clearly. It has the power to dampen your inner fire, and rob you of your passion and purpose.

Uncontrolled fear can completely imprison you.

To continue to function in times of inner and outer crisis you need to stay connected with your inner self. Preserving a strong foundation within yourself is essential. You NEED your inner fire, your passion to stay in control and to claim your power over your own life. This is survival.

In fearful times, your self-esteem is your armor, your protection. It keeps you in control and able to stay aware of your surroundings while NOT being consumed by them.

A person with healthy self-esteem has an appropriate understanding of life. To the challenges life throws at them. The unpredictable and the dangerous.
Are they afraid? Yes. But they are prepared to keep moving forward, past their fears. They can navigate through the challenges of life without being controlled by the panic of anxiety or by the darkness of depression.

Breaking the habit of fear and anxiety is complicated, and many people cannot do it without a mentor or a strong support system.

I’ve personally been down this road in my life many times, consumed by darkness, losing control of my life to fear and anxiety. 

I’ve lost relationships, friends, money, career positions, everything. I’ve seen war and destruction. And I was able to pull myself through, continually growing stronger than before. Each loss was a lesson. And if I could do it, you can absolutely do it.

Sometimes the only way out of a situation is through it.

Many of us just need some guidance and the right tools to help us overpower the real life enemy of inner fear and anxiety. If you are ready for this journey, I can help.

Let’s work together.
Contact me at [email protected] with the subject line: FEEL DIFFERENT

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The Anti-Relationship of Codependency

Strong relationships require strong individuals.

Strong women and strong men, together, form strong relationships.

You cannot rely on your partner to make you happy, to take care of your every need. Furthermore, you are not solely responsible for your partner’s happiness. You cannot bear every burden for your partner and you cannot sacrifice your own happiness for what you believe a relationship to be.

You might say: “But this is what love is all about.”

To which I would respond: “Actually, this is what codependency is all about.”

If you sacrifice your personal life and all of your own individual needs for your partner, with the expectancy that this will make the relationship stronger and more “real,” you are not being realistic or fair to yourself or your partner. It is actually selfish and controlling to single handedly take everything upon yourself with the notion that it’s all for your partner, for the relationship.

Relationships are about sharing, understanding, and communicating with transparency. With both people working together to create the bond and share the relationship in a balanced way, as equally as possible.

Codependency, on the contrary, is more often characterized by one-sidedness, relationship addiction/attachment, fear of abandonment and self-detachment. Often with deep roots in shame, guilt, unawareness, and abuse.

Codependency is not love. It’s not healthy. It’s damaging to both people in the end.

So, why do people stay in unhealthy, codependent relationships?

Why don’t they communicate properly?

Why don’t they express their wants and their needs?

The short answer is: low self-esteem.

Codependent relationships often stem from a person who believes they need someone else to complete them. That life is not meaningful without a significant other.

This is a skewed view of what life is, and what the value of what a true loving relationship can be. A person must value themselves and learn to love themselves before they can truly love another and share a healthy, balanced relationship.

A person with low self-esteem may find themself in a relationship where they do not have the confidence to ask for what they want from their partner. They may feel unworthy to the point of incapable of this type of communication.

As a codependent, you might think: “no one will listen to me anyway. It doesn’t matter what I want.” Or “I don’t want to offend anyone by asking for something.”

Or, the type of codependent who doesn’t feel worthy unless they’re constantly “proving” themselves as a valuable partner – may think to themselves: “I wish my partner understood how much I give them. I hope they know how much I love them, and hope they recognize everything I do for them.”

This is clearly unfair to the partner of the codependent as they are typically in the dark here, not having much insight as to what their partner is thinking or feeling. This can be a breeding ground for miscommunication, self pity, displaced anger and deep resentment.

The hard lesson is, you cannot change your partner. You can only change yourself. And this is where you, as a codependent, need to focus your awareness and energy.

To be able to connect to your partner in a meaningful way and create a strong and nurturing relationship, you need to start building up your self-esteem. Start holding yourself accountable for how you treat yourself in a relationship and to set clear boundaries.

You need to find your purpose – this will lead you to a place of passion where you can start to reclaim your power and inner strength.

To make yourself the most important person in your life.

This is essential, as any relationship you invest yourself in will serve as a living reflection of the degree in which you love and value yourself.

Only then, when you have come to love yourself and respect your value as an individual, will you be able to build and share meaningful relationships that enrich your life. For you can never depend on someone else to make you happy and whole. It begins with you, and only you.

Start today by learning to build a healthy relationship with yourself.

We can help.

Contact us at [email protected] to learn more.