Author: Roland

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Masculinity doesn’t happen on its own

Part of the hero’s journey is to live for a greater purpose than ourselves. For men, pertaining to masculinity, this involves sacrificing our boyish ways and our self-serving desires to create space for our greater selves to grow and thrive. This is what we refer to as our MASCULINE POWER, our nature-given strength and energy, meant to serve, not only our immediate circle (family, friends, etc.), but also in a universal sense, to contribute to the greater whole as a member of society.

MASCULINITY IS ESSENTIAL TO THE BALANCE OF OUR HUMAN EXISTENCE.

In our current times and for decades now, masculinity has been tainted and is at deep risk of being lost completely through stigmatization and consistent propagandized demonization, primarily by the left. The term “toxic masculinity” has been coded into our language and cultural mindset so deeply mainstream that now, a man that shows any sign of masculinity is mocked and/or dismissed as being “toxic.” This puts our men in fear and in a state of shame for just being MEN.

This is very dangerous and, in a strategic power play, can be seen as a global weapon being used to dismantle our country’s power and to ultimately destroy our society by knocking us completely out of our natural balance. As they say, it starts at home.

If our boys are not being taught or initiated into manhood, and are actually being discouraged from it, where will this leave our men?

To learn more about how to embrace, nurture and support masculinity, for yourself or for someone you know, contact us here ([email protected]) and type the word ‘MASCULINE’ in the subject line. Someone will reach you shortly.

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Imprisoned By Anxiety, Overpower Your Fear

The world is a dangerous place and life always ends deadly.
“Memento mori”

Living in western society we have been fairly sheltered from many of the dangers and cruelties of the world around us. But throughout the pandemic and in light of recent events, there is a collective anxiety growing among us. This is the inevitable impact of any war and/or event of mass violence.

Feelings of anxiety, panic, and fear creep into our lives, into our thoughts and into our souls. We’re looking at these events unfolding, in shock and helpless, unable to “do something about it.” Humans watching other humans in pain, violence, and death breeds an enormous amount of fear and reaction within us.

Real threats to the peace and freedoms that many of us take for granted in the west are becoming more and more commonplace as we’re watching, transfixed, seeing the world as we know it, fall apart.

Is it not normal to be afraid in a situation like this?
Afraid for your loved ones, for your future, for your country?

Fear is a natural reaction to a situation like the one we’re witnessing right now. But we need to be very careful not to be consumed by it.

“Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.“ – Frank Herbert, Dune

Yes, fear as a reaction is natural – but at what cost?

Fear can render you unable to think clearly. It has the power to dampen your inner fire, and rob you of your passion and purpose.

Uncontrolled fear can completely imprison you.

To continue to function in times of inner and outer crisis you need to stay connected with your inner self. Preserving a strong foundation within yourself is essential. You NEED your inner fire, your passion to stay in control and to claim your power over your own life. This is survival.

In fearful times, your self-esteem is your armor, your protection. It keeps you in control and able to stay aware of your surroundings while NOT being consumed by them.

A person with healthy self-esteem has an appropriate understanding of life. To the challenges life throws at them. The unpredictable and the dangerous.
Are they afraid? Yes. But they are prepared to keep moving forward, past their fears. They can navigate through the challenges of life without being controlled by the panic of anxiety or by the darkness of depression.

Breaking the habit of fear and anxiety is complicated, and many people cannot do it without a mentor or a strong support system.

I’ve personally been down this road in my life many times, consumed by darkness, losing control of my life to fear and anxiety. 

I’ve lost relationships, friends, money, career positions, everything. I’ve seen war and destruction. And I was able to pull myself through, continually growing stronger than before. Each loss was a lesson. And if I could do it, you can absolutely do it.

Sometimes the only way out of a situation is through it.

Many of us just need some guidance and the right tools to help us overpower the real life enemy of inner fear and anxiety. If you are ready for this journey, I can help.

Let’s work together.
Contact me at [email protected] with the subject line: FEEL DIFFERENT

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Strong Relationships Require Strong Individuals

Observing relationships in today’s society, you’ll notice a common theme: a lack of fulfillment and true happiness. Breakups and separations are everyday, and divorce rates continue to skyrocket.

With a simple online search, you’ll find tons of relationship advice and tips on how to improve your relationship. But the real issues are not being addressed.

It’s rarely about what you do or don’t do, or how you treat your partner.

Your actions and thoughts are mere symptoms of much deeper issues.

It’s about who you are and who you wish to be, consciously or not.

You need to understand that for your relationship to not only “function,” but to thrive and grow with a healthy sense of fulfillment, you and your partner need to both be strong individuals.

Strong women and strong men form strong relationships.

Yes, there will be phases where one of you takes the lead as the stronger person while the other is struggling, and vice-versa, this is normal and natural, as are the dynamics of life. But the overall relationship balance is of two strong people supporting each other, growing individually and together, and progressively working together to build a strong bond throughout their shared experience.

Unfortunately, our society keeps us simplified and stereotyped in a constant battle where men are the patriarchswho only want to suppress women and exploit them in various ways as the weaker sex. And because this has been embedded in our culture as the traditional way of thinking for most of history, men now need to be put in their place. It’s time for women to take over and even out the playing field. In other words, revenge and spite.

Men and women are now in a nonstop entanglement of war where no one can win.

And with relationships, it’s about balance – two individuals doing their part to keep it strong and healthy.

If one partner is determined to rule and overpower the other, there is no real balance and the relationship is doomed to fail.

We need strong men, real men, and strong women, real women, to build and maintain real bonds with each other for strong relationships to thrive. A relationship should never be about sacrificing one’s individual power for the other, or lowering oneself for the relationship to exist. That’s more of a codependency than a relationship.

Both individuals must continue to grow, develop and maintain their inner power. And with their bond together, agree to share their personal power with each other which is a combined power that is their RELATIONSHIP.

If you enter into a relationship with this mindset, you’ll find it much more fulfilling to you and your partner, where you are mutually agreeing to work toward this, the greater whole for both of you. To strive to be your best selves, and share your best with each other – rather than the typical surface agreement of monogamy, commitment, and a general “promise to love.”

In a strong relationship, you and your partner continue to grow stronger – TOGETHER. And a strong couple is able to face the world and its challenges together as a collective whole, rather than going it alone.

What is a strong man? What is a strong woman?

A strong man is connected to his masculinity. He is principled and knows what it means to be a man. He stays true to his virtues and values, and will stand up for himself and his loved ones in the face of wrongfulness.

A strong woman is rooted in her femininity. She is confident and comfortable in her womanhood. She is caring, naturally nurturing, strong in her principles and will protect the health of her family and loved ones. The power of the feminine may appear to be more subtle than masculine power, but this is like comparing water to fire. Each is vastly powerful and not to be underestimated or undervalued.

Over the course of the last decades, I’ve worked with thousands of women and men to reconnect to their individual power. Dismantling the narrative of modern society that continually attempts to divide men and women and keep us at war with each other. To disconnect us from our real power, our masculinity and our femininity, is to truly defeat us at our core. For survival, this is key to understanding the importance of preserving and strengthening our individual powers as men and women.

It’s in your hands to decide what your future relationship will be.

By embracing your natural masculinity or femininity, you empower yourself and your partner to share a life together as your best selves. And this is what healthy, strong and fulfilling relationships are made of.

Is it a journey? Absolutely. One we must stay strong and in our individual power to maintain, and to share. To learn more about our upcoming events and programs, join our email list by clicking here.

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Your Accountability is Your Power

Accountability is a loaded word for many people.

Assuming the person accountable is the person who will be blamed and at fault if things fail.

Better to not put yourself in this situation. Better to be free of responsibility and let other people take accountability. Then no one can blame you. You’re safe.

Keeping yourself unaccountable is a weak approach in any given situation.

It’s actually the worst approach you can take when it comes to your own life.

Your accountability is your power.

Commonly, it is the easy route to shift blame for any perceived negativity in your life onto other people and/or circumstances. It’s easy to blame the government, politicians, society, your job, your parents, your past… the list goes on.

And so here you are – stagnant and trapped in this life that you can’t control. And you can bet that nothing will change for a while, if ever. As a consequence, your situation won’t change and you might as well just give up. It’s just the way things are. It’s life.

If this is your philosophy, something you must know is that you are giving away the exact element of yourself that can actually change your life – your personal power!

Taking accountability for your life is a form of power.

Yes, accountability means you’ll be the one accountable for your mistakes, your bad decisions, your failures, and your behavior.

But it also means you are the one in control. You have the power to make changes for the better and to start creating the life you’d like to see for yourself. Your greatest self. This is in your control when you take accountability for your life.

Many people avoid themselves and run from their responsibilities out of fear, laziness, immaturity or a slew of other factors. In hiding, however, they fail to realize that this is their strength – their inner power that is essential to opening the path to their true potential.

For as long as you refuse to take accountability for your life, nothing will change.

You cannot change other people. And changing life’s circumstances is challenging, at best. But you can decide how you react to life. You can change yourself. This is what is in your control. And the more control you have over yourself, the more control you have over your life. This is the power of accountability.

Taking accountability for your life is the most powerful thing you can do. It is the way to reach a true peace within yourself, with your past, your present, and the future you create moving forward. This is what maturity is. It is what responsibility is. It is key to self mastery.

Accountability is fundamental to your life’s purpose because you must be real with yourself.

You are facing your life and the circumstances that come with it and saying: Yes, I am here. This is me. I accept this life as mine – all of it. And I am willing to do the work to make it my best.

As unpredictable and challenging as life can be, especially through our current times of uncertainty, hyper information, heightened stress and panic from the pandemic, there are still ways for each of us to take accountability for our lives.

If you struggle with any of the above, with anxiety, depression or other mental-health issues, accountability can be a breakthrough step to feeling different, and taking control of your life. Let us help.

To start, contact us now at [email protected] – Subject: ACCOUNTABILITY

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Unlearn Your Way to Your Purpose

Independent thought is the one thing we are taught to unlearn in the current education system.

This systematic unlearning of individuality and critical thinking has been institutionalized in our schools for decades and the massive impact on our children’s lives, particularly on their mental health and self-esteem, is undeniable.

More kids than ever before are being (mis)diagnosed with ADHD, learning disorders, depression, and anxiety, and are being prescribed a number of medications for these so-called illnesses that are oftentimes, an indirect remedy for taming a child that is “out of line” with the rest of their class.

When a child speaks up, questions what they may not believe as fact, or just stands out as someone with disobedient behavior, the school system is quick to punish and will typically report this to their parents as a problem that should be tended to.

The lesson here to young people: Don’t get out of line. Don’t ask questions. Don’t act out. Curb your curiosity and inquisitiveness. Just listen and learn. Or else.

This seems to be a common theme in modern times. As we do not only see this in the education system but also regarding the current Covid-19 pandemic.

Just be “normal” and comply.
And if it doesn’t fit, force it.

This approach not only shuts down our children’s healthy curiosity and individuality. It also tells them their passion and search for their purpose, is abnormal, an illness that needs to be cured. It teaches kids that their inner fire is dangerous and needs to be contained and extinguished to prevent it from growing.

If you step out of the line, there must be something wrong with you. If you can’t concentrate or sit still like “the rest”, there is something wrong with you. If you could just be like everyone else, you’d be ok. So, it must be you who is wrong. You are the problem. And we need to fix it.

This is how a deep and fundamental fear of “not being good enough” is instilled in you, your children, and their friends. Self-doubt and a fundamental mistrust in yourself are weaved deep inside your mind and spirit.

And this is the norm. A perfect breeding ground for anxiety and low self-esteem to thrive.

These issues can become deeply embedded in us, and for many, reflect negatively throughout each aspect of our lives. The impact of how we face, or don’t face challenges in our relationships and/or in our professional lives. This lack of self-esteem and individuality can determine how much or how little we actually control our own story in this life.

If you let the system overrun your life, if you allow it to instill the thought of wrongfulness in your children, how can you have any authority over your own path? How can you truthfully honor and serve your own life’s purpose, and even more, teach your children to live theirs?

Thinking for ourselves is one of our highest fundamental powers that no institution, person, or authority should have control over. It’s an individual, human right.

Nourishing a healthy curiosity and passion for your life is vital for your mental health and the mental health of your children.

In my introductory e-book “Lose Your Story, Live Your Life” I touch upon many points that will help you to start unlearning these patterns of self-denial. You’ll find practical points of guidance that you can implement now into your daily life to begin understanding and reclaiming your own personal power, your innate passion, and your individual purpose in life.

Click here to claim your free copy now.

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The Anti-Relationship of Codependency

Strong relationships require strong individuals.

Strong women and strong men, together, form strong relationships.

You cannot rely on your partner to make you happy, to take care of your every need. Furthermore, you are not solely responsible for your partner’s happiness. You cannot bear every burden for your partner and you cannot sacrifice your own happiness for what you believe a relationship to be.

You might say: “But this is what love is all about.”

To which I would respond: “Actually, this is what codependency is all about.”

If you sacrifice your personal life and all of your own individual needs for your partner, with the expectancy that this will make the relationship stronger and more “real,” you are not being realistic or fair to yourself or your partner. It is actually selfish and controlling to single handedly take everything upon yourself with the notion that it’s all for your partner, for the relationship.

Relationships are about sharing, understanding, and communicating with transparency. With both people working together to create the bond and share the relationship in a balanced way, as equally as possible.

Codependency, on the contrary, is more often characterized by one-sidedness, relationship addiction/attachment, fear of abandonment and self-detachment. Often with deep roots in shame, guilt, unawareness, and abuse.

Codependency is not love. It’s not healthy. It’s damaging to both people in the end.

So, why do people stay in unhealthy, codependent relationships?

Why don’t they communicate properly?

Why don’t they express their wants and their needs?

The short answer is: low self-esteem.

Codependent relationships often stem from a person who believes they need someone else to complete them. That life is not meaningful without a significant other.

This is a skewed view of what life is, and what the value of what a true loving relationship can be. A person must value themselves and learn to love themselves before they can truly love another and share a healthy, balanced relationship.

A person with low self-esteem may find themself in a relationship where they do not have the confidence to ask for what they want from their partner. They may feel unworthy to the point of incapable of this type of communication.

As a codependent, you might think: “no one will listen to me anyway. It doesn’t matter what I want.” Or “I don’t want to offend anyone by asking for something.”

Or, the type of codependent who doesn’t feel worthy unless they’re constantly “proving” themselves as a valuable partner – may think to themselves: “I wish my partner understood how much I give them. I hope they know how much I love them, and hope they recognize everything I do for them.”

This is clearly unfair to the partner of the codependent as they are typically in the dark here, not having much insight as to what their partner is thinking or feeling. This can be a breeding ground for miscommunication, self pity, displaced anger and deep resentment.

The hard lesson is, you cannot change your partner. You can only change yourself. And this is where you, as a codependent, need to focus your awareness and energy.

To be able to connect to your partner in a meaningful way and create a strong and nurturing relationship, you need to start building up your self-esteem. Start holding yourself accountable for how you treat yourself in a relationship and to set clear boundaries.

You need to find your purpose – this will lead you to a place of passion where you can start to reclaim your power and inner strength.

To make yourself the most important person in your life.

This is essential, as any relationship you invest yourself in will serve as a living reflection of the degree in which you love and value yourself.

Only then, when you have come to love yourself and respect your value as an individual, will you be able to build and share meaningful relationships that enrich your life. For you can never depend on someone else to make you happy and whole. It begins with you, and only you.

Start today by learning to build a healthy relationship with yourself.

We can help.

Contact us at [email protected] to learn more.

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Keeping Your Relationship Strong Through The Pandemic

The first thing to suffer during a pandemic, besides your health, is your close relationships – particularly, your romantic relationship.

While the outside world shuts down, it’s easy for us to slip into destructive patterns and habits as a means to cope and comfort ourselves. Combine this with being cooped up together with your significant other in a single home or apartment with nowhere to go, increased feelings of claustrophobia, crowdedness, and anxious panic can become overbearing. Given the circumstances, this is unfortunately quite common.

So what can you do to keep your relationship healthy and strong through the pandemic?

The foundation for a healthy and happy relationship is self-esteem. Strong men and strong women form strong relationships.

Your mental health, and by extension your self-esteem, will be one of the first things that are challenged during a pandemic.

The feeling of being “stuck” at home, frustrated by the limiting circumstances, restrictive rules and the uncertainty of it all, our inner strengths and core selves are bound to be out of balance unless we maintain a grounded foundation of self-esteem and focused perspective.

Patterns directed to the outside world as well as directed to your inner world, meaning your thoughts and feelings and/or your actions towards your partner, should be as clear and intentional as possible.

It’s easy to act out your frustration on your partner. Getting angry with him or her over insignificant differences or projections, can turn into a damaging pattern if you do not recognize and put it to a stop.

Pent up anger and negative feelings can explode into destructive fights and arguments that can cause long term harm to your relationship if you are not careful. It is in these situations of extreme discomfort and challenge that our relationships are tested the most.

One important practice to keep constant in your relationship during a pandemic is to concentrate – not on your partner or your relationship itself – but on your mental health and your self-esteem.

If you’re feeling anxious or depressed, occupied with worries, fears and negative thoughts, you won’t be able to support your partner through these hard times. You cannot put the burden of your struggles wholly on your partner, as your partner is likely struggling as well.

It is best to keep a regular exercise of self-reflection and inner diagnosis at signs of frustration, anger and discomfort. If you feel any of the above starting to occur, it is best to step back and look inward to find the root of what is happening inside. In many cases, we project our frustrations onto our partners because we are ill equipped to take the responsibility of working through the pain of the moment, so it manifests into an argument or a bickering match of little to no significance. These types of occurrences tend to continue to happen until we do the work of looking inward and dissecting our issue(s) rather than reacting.

Learning how to overcome your mental struggles and manage your own mental health is responsible and empowering. It allows you and your partner to lead a strong and bonding relationship through the pandemic, as well as through other challenging circumstances. The ability to stand together and support each other as a couple is a powerful force to continually nurture and maintain.

As they say, relationships are work, but when they do work and they are healthy and strong, outside circumstances stand little to no chance of harming them through even the toughest battles.

This pandemic has been a challenging battle to say the least. Many couples have broken apart, and divorce rates have increased significantly. Depression, anxiety, insecurity and panic have all been commonplace since the pandemic began and they continue to increase. Your relationship is being thoroughly tested and is at stake of bonding or breaking. This is where you and your partner need each other most.

To support and strengthen each other and your relationship requires a great deal of self-strength, self-support and self-management.

There are many practical ways you can start managing your mental health and nurturing your inner strength, your passion and your purpose that will lead you and your partner through this pandemic.

Part of my e-book “Lose Your Story, Live Your Life” is instilling basic principles and actionable practices to help you guide through this.

Get your free copy now by clicking here.

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The Vaccine vs. Individual Power

Do you sometimes feel like many common sense things that should be considered “normal” are now deemed abnormal in our society?

You’re not alone.

It is very normal to be mindfully concerned about your health. To be inquisitive, to research and discuss remedies, drugs, and vaccines before deciding what is best for you and your body – this is completely normal. It is, after all, YOUR body and YOUR health.

So why has this become so controversial?

Enter the Covid-19 vaccine debate.

Through our current times of constant questioning about what’s real information vs. disinformation vs. misinformation, many shared opinions are at risk of being considered to be dangerously controversial. Pertaining to the Covid-19 vaccine, any shared opinions and studies that question, or are not in full agreement with the mainstream ‘pro-vaccine’ narrative, are subject to censorship, and the person/people sharing may very possibly find themselves “canceled”, leaving zero room for debate or review.

This climate of aggressive groupthink and collective virtue signaling from those who have chosen to get vaxxed vs. those who haven’t, has created more of a peer-pressure pro-judgment culture than an informative one which has been pitting people against each other and keeping us divided. Some people withdraw into silence and self-censorship to avoid potential confrontation.

In some extreme cases, people are forced to make life pressuring decisions, i.e. get the vaccine or lose your job/career, lose the right to see your child, lose the right to visit family, lose friendships, and beyond.

And we’re all left wondering: what’s going to happen next?

What regulations will be enforced tomorrow?

If I’ve chosen not to get the vaccine, how long until I’m forced to make a life pressuring decision like the rest?

Where can I go? What will I do?

This pressure continues to build with each passing week while many people are living in constant fear of losing what’s dear to them.

The constant state of panic and uncertainty can very easily develop into serious anxiety and depression. The feeling of helplessness in a situation that is seemingly out of our control.

To evade this breadth of fear, you need an almost unshakable inner strength. You need to leverage your inner fire and passion as your power to fight it. Otherwise, you are subject to fall into a sea of deep desperation and complete fear.

These times we’re living in are not easy. There’s mass confusion and a plethora of information at our fingertips which is constantly changing. All the while, the social stigmas and political pressures of the pro-vaccine agenda are increasingly crowding over “normal” healthy people who are doing the work to think critically for themselves and their bodies.

However, this does not mean it is impossible for you to continue to live your life and thrive, regardless of these external pressures.

It can be done but it requires work. Deep inner work for many of us, a regimented practice. It requires you to be at one with your individual power, the power that’s in all of us. That inner spark, that inner strength that is fueled by self-purpose – this is your power. Once you have grounded yourself in this power, anything going on externally is secondary at best, and nothing is out of your manageability. All is within your control.

Are you ready to do the work? Contact us today to get started at [email protected]

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Denouncing Cancel Culture

Denouncing Cancel Culture,
For Your Health’s Sake

In today’s society it is becoming increasingly difficult to openly speak our minds, even among family and friends. This has become especially prominent throughout the pandemic.

More and more people are getting canceled on social media, banned from specific platforms and even losing their jobs and careers, merely because they chose to speak up in ways that may not fit into the current and “popular” narrative.

This has many of us conflicted, scared to speak our minds. The fear of getting ostracized is ever present. The very real threat of “just keep quiet, don’t question what’s going on, keep in line, or else…” is at the forefront of today’s social normalcy.

As a result, cancel culture is affecting us on a much deeper level than many of us may be aware of.

It starts on social media and/or mainstream media with public figures typically, then hits closer to home with friends or co-workers who may get their social accounts flagged or deleted for sharing information about politics – again, with an opinion that differs from the public narrative. This then becomes much more “real” as it spreads into our minds and psyches, limiting our very essence as expressive and curious beings.

We now self-censor out of fear of being canceled. 

Everyday conversations and interactions have become more commonly fragile as surface exchanges of small talk to avoid the possibility of saying something “wrong” and offending people to the point of being “canceled.”

This is affecting not only how we speak and what we talk about, but also how we think and feel.

We limit ourselves because of this fear. We are censoring ourselves.

Keeping yourself quiet when your inner-voice has real questions is restraint. Not speaking when you think or feel something is wrong is an unhealthy behavior. This is what people do when they lack confidence, inner strength, and self-esteem.

Is this what we deserve, a culture that silences us through fear?

Neglecting your values and your better judgment because you don’t want to offend, because of your fear of being judged and cast out of society. Losing your job, losing your friends, losing your family. This is not the freedom that we were taught to believe in. It is not within the belief system of our great leaders throughout history. It’s quite the opposite.

By submitting to this state of cancel culture, you’re losing a lot and it’s questionable if you’re winning anything at all for it in return. By playing it “safe,” you’re censoring your life out of fear and losing yourself in the process. You’re ultimately canceling yourself – your dreams, your values, who you really are.

When people neglect their inner voice for a prolonged amount of time, this is how the spirit dies. When you don’t allow your passion and power to live and thrive, you slowly break until you’re completely broken. This is a slow death for many, and cancel culture is creating an environment where this is “normal.”

But it shouldn’t be. It’s not normal, and it is completely unhealthy.

The longer you keep yourself quiet and comply with cancel culture, the less respect you’ll have for yourself. The less self-esteem you’ll have and you’ll be on an inevitable path to depression and anxiety. A life without passion and purpose. A life without power.

On the other side of this, if you do choose to honor your truth, to speak up when you see something wrong, or to share important information that could help others, even if it goes against the public narrative – this is a form of self-respect. This is you trusting your inner voice, your instincts that innately “know,” regardless of any potential backlash from the cancel culture mob.

It may be uncomfortable and challenging to overcome these fundamental fears, but this climate of getting ‘canceled’ has been programmed into us by our society for some time and is now an omnipresent beast, growing bigger each time we feed it with our fear and compliance. Before we completely submit and allow this to become our new truth, we must be willing to honor our inner voice and wisdom, and have the courage to confront it, even at its most uncomfortable moments.

With the right tools, you will be able to stay in your truth, connect to your passion and overcome your fears through individual strength and purpose.

My introductory e-book “Lose Your Story, Live Your Life” will give you some valuable tips on how to embrace this path forward. Your path is your power and with power comes the responsibility to share what you value. Share your truth, share your wisdom, share your love with those you love, unwavering and unfiltered with zero regard for the self-censorship of cancel culture.