Tag: self worth

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Precision > Perfection

Is there a difference between perfection and precision?
And if so, does it matter?

The thing about perfection is that it can’t be reached. Perfection allows no flexibility, no room for experimentation, no space to grow or learn as you go. It’s a very black and white philosophy – all or nothing.

SO WHY IS IT SO COMMON IN OUR CULTURE TO REACH FOR THE UNATTAINABLE? AND HOW DOES THIS AFFECT OUR INNER-BEING?

While some may say it’s good motivation to set high expectations and “reach for the stars,” perfectionism is most typically a downfall. It’s one of the biggest brainwashed conditions we are taught to believe from an early age that can carry on through adulthood and lead many of us to continual self defeat and endless disappointment in ourselves and others.

WHAT IS PERFECTIONISM IN REAL EVERYDAY LIFE?

Perfectionism is more of a philosophy than anything. Because it’s unattainable and completely subjective, it’s often strived for in a competitive state. The perfectionist mindset can come from early childhood, typically from the parent who wants nothing more than their beloved child to be the greatest living being this world has ever known. Though it may come from good intentions, the effects are rarely positive.

When carried on through adulthood, perfectionism can often be seen as you attempting to overcompensate for your perceived deficiencies. Disguising this as competitive or somehow superior to others, is more often your pathological inner critic trying to “motivate” you to be the “best” while holding you to impossible standards. It stems from a fear of never being good enough, pushing to prove the opposite to yourself and to others.

In this case, the ultimate root of perfectionism is low self-esteem. It’s from you feeling inappropriate to life, feeling less than average, and unqualified. You might also find perfectionism as one of the key ways imposter syndrome manifests itself into your life.

Even if you do not identify as a full on perfectionist, many people still have this tendency to some degree. It can be in the habit of beating yourself up when you feel you’re falling short of your goals. Or if you’re the type who is routinely striving for unbelievably high expectations, ultimately setting yourself up for failure.

WHAT CAN YOU DO ABOUT PERFECTIONISM AND HOW DO YOU CHANGE THIS TO A MORE REALISTIC APPROACH TO LIFE? 

While perfection is not achievable, precision is.

Precision means doing whatever you’re doing to the best of your ability with the tools and resources available. Doing the best job possible – for you at this exact moment.

Contrary to perfection, precision allows for mistakes. It factors in the human element and gives space for this, remembering we’re not machines. It factors in who you are with your flaws, your faults, weaknesses and shortcomings.

Being precise in what you do means giving your energy to the quality and focus of your work, while being attentive. Most importantly, precision is achievable. And it might look different for everyone.

Rather than trying to be perfect or do things perfectly, try to focus on doing things as well as you can, to your potential and to your best ability.

Become aware of when you’re falling prey to your perfectionistic tendencies and pause to reflect. Ask yourself if your goals and expectations are realistic and within what you’re capable of attaining.

This is the easiest way to monitor yourself and stop the habit of catering to your inner perfectionist and to ultimately overcome these tendencies.

If you’d like to learn more about this topic, check out our program “Your Fate is NOT sealed”.

Please feel free to reach out and contact me with any questions.

Warmly,
Orlando Owen

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With or without self-esteem?

Have you ever felt inadequate? Unfit to fill a position at work?
Unable to accept compliments and praise?

Are you selling yourself short? Trying to justify everything you do? Do you feel like you need to put on an act in order to be accepted?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, chances are you’re struggling with low self-esteem.

Why should this concern you?

YOUR SELF-ESTEEM IS YOUR LIFE’S FOUNDATION.

It determines how you perceive and think about yourself. It dictates what you’re feeling, what you’re capable of, and what and who you’re able to attract in your life.

SELF-ESTEEM IS NOT EVERYTHING, BUT WITHOUT IT, EVERYTHING IS NOTHING.

Over the years I’ve encountered the opinion that self-esteem is a bad thing.

That people with high self-esteem are full of themselves, arrogant, often narcissists, and that some people may just have too much self-esteem. Really?

No. There is no such thing as too much self-esteem. Not the way we define self-esteem at FEEL DIFFERENT, and not by its true definition – confidence in one’s own worth or abilities; self-respect. In most cases, this opinion is coming from those who are foreign to self-esteem. Who deem it as “fake” behavior because “no one can be that sure of themselves.”

Cockiness and arrogance, on the other hand, are typical tactics to distract and divert the attention from one who may be feeling inferior. A behavior that may also stem from trying to compensate for one’s lack of a certain quality, or a response to intimidation. All are clear symptoms of low self-esteem.

SO WHY SHOULD YOU CARE ABOUT SELF-ESTEEM?

Because self-esteem is power. Literally.

As long as you don’t have it, or very little of it, your life can be a tragic mess.

A seemingly endless series of hopeless situations that you cannot escape. This can come with sabotaging yourself, your relationships and your potential for success on every level. And most of it unconsciously.

Working on your self-esteem means quite simply, working on yourself – as a whole. It’s your foundation.

It’s the beginning of you taking control of your life, your vision of your future, your relationships and your successes. It is self-empowerment at the highest level.

Because your self-esteem lays the groundwork for you living your purpose, passion, and power in life, it is the basis for your self-value, self-respect, confidence and self-trust needed for you to truly experience your life as you were meant to.

MOST IMPORTANTLY, IT IS ROOTED IN YOU. YOUR SELF.

It is not based on how others see you, what they think about you or how much anyone may deem you to be worth. It is how much you accept yourself, how much you believe you are worth. And by that definition, you are the one in control. The sole creator of your fate and future self.

Self-esteem is the immune system of your soul, as Nathaniel Branden says.

If you develop a healthy self-esteem, others opinions, words and actions won’t affect how you feel about yourself. You’ll be able to navigate your life and your decisions with surety and confidence and face anything life throws your way.

Self-esteem is a decision. You don’t have to be at the mercy of your emotions and fears. You have a choice about how you feel.

Unfortunately, many people feel like they don’t have a choice. Like they’ve just been dealt a bad hand in life. They’re not one of the “lucky” ones who just seem to win at life effortlessly. You may know this person, it might even be you.

You may have looked for help, taken advice from “experts,” read best selling self-help books, tried coaching, motivational training, therapy, and in the end nothing stuck. At least not long enough to experience any real life changes.

The reason is simply that those methods ignore the most important factor in the equation: your self-esteem.

And while psychology in particular is great for diagnosing your issue, the practices used are unable to help you build real self-esteem and empower you to start leading the life you know you could be living.

It is adamant you understand the crucial role of your self-esteem for your life and start building a new relationship with yourself.

At FEEL DIFFERENT, we have tested and proven methods to help you achieve a healthy relationship with yourself. This starts with you building your self-esteem and becoming confident in living your own life as your true self.

If this speaks to you, please feel free to fill out this brief survey to see if our program “Your Fate is NOT sealed” is a fit for you.

Don’t hesitate to reach out with any questions or comments. I’m happy to help.

Yours truly,

Orlando Owen

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Self-esteem > Confidence

Have you ever looked at someone and thought, “I wish I could be as confident as this person is in that situation?”

Trying to muster up the strength to be as self assured as the other person, finding the right things to say at the right time, all the while struggling with your inner fears and doubts?

CONFIDENCE IS A QUALITY THAT IS CRUCIAL THROUGHOUT LIFE AND ALL OF ITS CHALLENGES.

When we live confidently, we hardly think about this. But as soon as you’re faced with a lack of it, the sunken feeling of smallness can be painfully undeniable. 

The question is, how you can become confident in such a way that allows you to be sure of yourself in any situation?

Right now, you might feel confident in some areas of your life. Or you may feel confident to just a certain degree. But when faced with a challenge, would you remain as confident as you are now? Would you be sure, and trusting in yourself and your abilities?

This kind of confidence is much more than a mere facade you put on for colleagues, friends or family.

TRUE CONFIDENCE IS ROOTED IN HEALTHY SELF-ESTEEM.

It is not the pumped up bravado of “I can conquer the world” type of confidence, but rather a quiet knowing and inner trust that you can handle anything life brings your way. A still and steady calmness that helps you navigate through all kinds of waves and obstacles in your life.

You can have low self-esteem and still be confident on some level. But this confidence is little more than a mask that is likely to fail when tested. Low self-esteem will always undermine your confidence. It will make you doubt yourself. It breeds feelings of unworthiness and lives in your deepest fears and anxieties, bringing them to light at the worst possible moments.

For you to be truly confident and self-assured, you need to nurture a healthy self-esteem.

YOUR SELF-ESTEEM IS THE FOUNDATION FOR YOUR CONFIDENCE.

It influences your individuality and behavior on a fundamental level and in every area of your life. From your relationships to business decisions, to your family and friends. A healthy self-esteem is knowing your true value, your self-worth, and holding yourself in high regard no matter what circumstance of life you may be experiencing. This is paramount for your confidence and for you to start completely trusting yourself.

Never underestimate this connection. Confidence can be like a fair weather friend. It’s right there with you when all is great and you’re feeling good about your life but quickly disappears when any challenges arise.

To build real confidence, you must be grounded in self-esteem. To know your strengths as well as your weaknesses and to accept all of it as parts of you, is to truly know yourself. To truly accept and respect yourself, no matter the circumstance. This is healthy self-esteem. And this is where real confidence lives.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS FEELS LIKE?

To learn more, please check out our program page and fill out a brief assessment to find which of our programs is best for you.

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Emotional Resilience is Survival

Do you sometimes feel like everything is just too much?
Like the walls are closing in on the cusp of crushing you relentlessly?
No matter how hard you try, you seem to just barely be getting by with little to no progress in your life?
The world has changed drastically over the last few years. Life has become ever challenging and we’re asking ourselves how we will get through it all.

No matter how overwhelming things look on the outside, what matters most is how you think, and how you handle your emotions.

All actions are dictated by your thoughts and your thoughts are what influence how you feel. And how you feel influences your thoughts. It’s cyclical.

Many people don’t get this connection but it’s especially important to be mindful of this in times of deep stress. The need to keep your mental and emotional health in check is most crucial during these moments. A focused mind and relaxed nervous system are fundamental to enable yourself to think clearly and act accordingly without being reactive to whatever the situation may be.

DURING THIS TIME OF COLLECTIVE STRESS, THE NEED TO DEVELOP EMOTIONAL RESILIENCE IS SURVIVAL.

When we allow ourselves to panic or live in a victim state, constantly tormented by fears and uncertainties, the ability to make clear decisions is disabled. This can be stunting to individual growth. People who may be relying on you will pick up on this as well. However, if you learn to overcome your fear and uncertainty, and keep yourself calm and collected, you keep yourself in a state of clarity which is key to leading your own life as well as helping others as they will pick up on this too which will allow them to feel relaxed and at ease.

IT’S NOT ABOUT RUNNING FROM YOUR EMOTIONS OR DISALLOWING YOURSELF TO FEEL.

Quite the opposite. It’s important to be present with what’s going on inside of you and to actually feel without judgement, without harsh reaction or criticism, and without allowing yourself to become overwhelmed.

To be able to handle negative and stressful emotions without suppressing them or being controlled by them is a deep strength that can take a lifetime for some of us to learn, if at all. Without it, it can be crippling and can hinder personal development. People who allow their emotions to control them without making conscious effort to learn otherwise, often become fragile, stuck in a feeling of helplessness, living as permanent “victims” of life and the world around them. Many people like this spend a lot of time complaining, beating themselves up over menial and unimportant things, blame others for their shortcomings, or simply fall into a state of apathy.

On the other hand, those who learn to live mindfully, to be aware of their emotions but not controlled by them, tend to live much more at peace with themselves and the lives they lead. It’s an essential leadership quality to be able to master your emotions and your mind, rather than letting yourself fall victim to circumstance. Life will always bring challenges your way. The sooner you can learn to accept this and develop the ability to stand through these challenges, the better quality of life you will live. Period.

This is a core concept we teach at FEEL DIFFERENT.

To be confident in life, you need to be confident with yourself and able to navigate through all kinds of emotional situations. Especially today, when fear, anxiety, self doubt, and uncertainty are more present than ever. How will you be able to navigate through your life if you’re constantly battling with yourself? How much more energy would you have if you allowed yourself the space to navigate through without worry?

This project is not called FEEL DIFFERENT for no reason.

We have created proven and clear processes to help deconstruct all of life’s common inner challenges to allow us to learn explore and live life from a different perspective.

To learn more, check out our self-empowerment through purpose program today.

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Life hacks for powering through any new skill

In learning any new skill, there is a real journey involved. A series of wins, fails, aha moments and pure humility. Even our most talented leaders across any field will share this. No matter the skill level, achievement and growth will take time, patience and consistent dedication. Whether you’re learning a new sport, physical training, or a new software, much of the journey requires a strong mindset. Even in the most rigorous physical training, the mind can be your best supporter or your downfall.

Learning a new skill can be exciting and eager to some, at the same time, daunting and crippling to others. It’s a matter of mindset and self management.

We’ve put together a few practical hacks to help you keep your mind strong and focused through learning any new skill.

BE REAL WITH WHERE YOU’RE AT

The first step in taking on any new skill is to level your mindset to accept that this is new – you’re not going to know everything from the start. You’re likely not going to be naturally gifted at it, you might actually be pretty bad – and that’s perfectly ok. To learn a new skill, you need to remember this and accept it, at least at the beginning, and stay open minded and open spirited to allow yourself to ease into it.

ELIMINATE COMPARISONS / ENCOURAGE COMPETITION

Constantly comparing yourself with other people will never help you grow. There’s a fine line between competing and comparing so be careful and aware of your actions in this area.

Comparison can be unproductive and self-defeating especially when you’re trying to grow at a new skill. Learning something new can be intimidating, especially in a class or any group setting where we tend to look to others as we learn. In this moment of comparison, you might find yourself feeling like you should be farther along in the process. Like you’re falling behind and should be able to keep up. 

The truth is, you are your own person and can only work from where you are right now, at your own speed and at your own conditions. You cannot rush or force yourself to learn quicker, this never works. You need to allow yourself the space to find your own pace at which you can grow. PATIENCE is key.

There will always be somebody better, faster, stronger and more experienced than you are. This is inevitable, so forget it – don’t even think about it. Comparison should be dismissed and replaced with constructive, friendly competition if anything. 

Competition, on the other hand, can be healthy in that it keeps us striving for better. It gives us goals and milestones to accomplish to keep us inspired and engaged to keep growing. It can also be a fun bonding experience to share with a friend or fellow teammate.

THE HEALTHIEST FORM OF COMPETITION IS COMPETING WITH YOURSELF – YOU VS. YOU.

Some of the most accomplished athletes, musicians, artists, leaders of all types note that they stay in competition with themselves. This means, you strive to be at your best and to outdo your former self, to be better than who you were yesterday, last week, last year, etc. Focusing on your own growth and achievements in this way is a great tool for measuring personal progress and keeping you on a continual path forward. It can help you navigate your personal journey with a clear perspective as to how far you’ve come along, what your next goals are, as well as allow yourself to celebrate any wins or milestones you have achieved thus far – this is important in keeping your morale up and to keep yourself engaged.

FOCUS ON YOUR STRENGTHS

Rather than focusing on all the ways you may be lacking – skill wise, ability wise – focus on what strengths you do have. Focus on what you’ve already accomplished. And if you are brand new, focus on the fact that you showed up and are there to learn something new. Many times this is the hardest part, going from the idea phase of something you’d like to try into actually taking the leap and showing up. You made it!

SELF-ACCEPTANCE

Self-acceptance is part of the practice in that you need to mentally be at peace with yourself throughout your journey in order to stay focused – ego aside. This is a strength that comes with focusing on your goals, controlling your mind rather than allowing your pride or emotions to control you. Challenges will come and go but your focus is your grounding point. It’s your inner strength that enables you to power through challenging moments rather than folding under pressure. Your focus and self-acceptance are both important in helping you to monitor your general level of skill so you can best assess what you need to work on most, what you have already learned and what to prepare for next. Placing unrealistic expectations that may be too high for where you are now is a bridge to self sabotage. Grass won’t grow faster because you’re pulling on it. On the contrary, you might uproot it and destroy any progress you’ve made by pressuring yourself too much which is counterproductive. Let yourself breathe and flow through the learning process.

SELF-EMPOWERMENT IS THE REWARD

Learning any new skill is always a step toward self-empowerment. It’s proof to yourself that you can achieve what you set out to do, no matter the size or the seriousness of it. This can be extremely valuable in building your self-esteem and confidence which is essential to living a fulfilled life.

A self-empowered individual, one who is self-aware and practices self-acceptance, allows themselves the time to grow at their own speed, consciously and confidently, without beating themselves up for any challenges or mistakes that come with the process. To achieve this level of maturity is a reward in itself in that, once reached, it can be applied to any aspect of your life.

To learn more about this, please check out our self-empowerment through purpose program or contact me directly for a consultation.

Respectfully,

Orlando Owen

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You vs. You – What’s holding you back

Over the course of our lives, we become masters in talking ourselves out of things. Things we dream of, desire, things we wish we could experience and various opportunities we wish we could explore. They begin as innocent ideas in our minds that we simply let pass by with no real meaningful reason as to why.

More often than not, there is nothing standing between you and the things you want to try and/or do but your own self doubts and fears. It’s all in your mind.

As simple as it sounds, and as cliche as it is, it’s true. The mind can be your greatest friend or your worst enemy. It’s up to you to train it and teach it how to treat you.

To keep yourself in check is an important character trait we need to master in order to maintain our focus on the significant things in our lives. Weighing the pros and cons of specific decisions is a skill every one of us needs to learn if we want to achieve our goals. This is a disciplined skill that comes with work and work ethic. But at times, these practical skills in reasoning and weighing out consequences in the logical sense can be the exact thing that is holding you back from actually doing.

THERE IS SUCH A THING AS OVERTHINKING. AND THINKING YOURSELF OUT OF THINGS CAN HINDER YOU MORE THAN HELP YOU WHEN IT COMES TO EXPERIENCING LIFE.

Think about it. Have you ever talked yourself out of doing something you really wanted to do? Maybe a project you would have loved to pursue, a hobby you were interested in?
Something you’ve always wanted to try?

But then you thought about it and your mind decided you were just too old, not experienced enough, it was too late to start now, you didn’t have the resources, it wasn’t realistic enough, and many other reasons that seemed quite logical and rational and completely deadening to any part of your curious spirit.

But what if, maybe, you’d given up before you even gave yourself the chance to explore the possibility that none of those things in your mind were true?

What’s holding you back from living your life to your true potential is exactly these things.

The often unconscious fear of not being good enough. The fear of failing. The fear of not being able to meet the standards you’ve set for yourself.

How many opportunities have you missed because you’ve adhered to these fears? How much regret have you accrued because of this? How are these fears continuing to restrict and restrain you in your everyday life?

By giving into these fears, you are effectively disconnecting from your personal power – the one thing that can and will drive you forward in life. The inner flame that will propel you forward and toward the things you really want. By dismissing this, you’re cutting yourself off from the opportunity to grow through new and untapped experiences. You’re denying yourself the possibility to explore your passions, your curiosities that can contribute to your evolution as a person as well as inadvertently impact the life of your loved ones through your personal growth.

WHEN YOU ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE FREE AND CONNECT TO YOUR PASSION, YOUR PERSONAL POWER, YOU INSPIRE THE PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE TO DO THE SAME.

With an unchecked mind, we all have the tendency to give up or not even try, out of fear of not being good enough. It can stem from a number of things – insecurity, self-doubt, past failures, trauma, a deep emotional wound. Ultimately and at its root, it’s a disconnect from your own personal power.

If you catch yourself in the process of talking yourself out of things you actually really want to pursue – stop for a moment and ask yourself, why you might be doing this. Check your awareness of what you’re doing and why. Differentiate if the reasons “why you can’t” do it are actually valid or if they are just an excuse for you to not face a situation that may be uncomfortable or awkward. Typically, this brief discomfort lasts only for a few minutes at most, if any.

And in most cases, it just might be worth the discomfort to give it a try. You may just discover some things about yourself you did not know before. Through the process, you might just surprise yourself and actually enjoy the experience, even if it’s nothing like you had imagined. The unpredictability of trying and learning new things is where the magic is. It’s where you learn and grow.

At the end of the day, we do not regret the majority of the things we’ve done, but the things we have not done or did not try.

By overcoming your fears and tapping into your personal power you’ll empower the people around you to do the same. Share this experience with your family and loved ones and you’ll be astonished at how fast your life can change for the better.

If you want to know more about this topic, check out my program Self-Empowerment through Purpose or contact me directly via email at [email protected].

Respectfully,

Orlando Owen

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Preserve your Power – Relationships and Masculinity

To build and sustain meaningful relationships as a man, especially romantic ones, you need to know how to stay grounded in your personal masculine power.

Because what keeps a relationship alive is the active balance between masculinity and femininity. Strong men and strong women form strong relationships.

For you to stay in your own masculine power, you need to understand when you are not in your power. You may need to ask yourself questions, such as the following.

  • What is taking you out of your element?
  • What are you or your partner doing that is weakening your grounding?
  • What does it mean to give your power away as a man?

To avoid unnecessary conflict or even risk losing your relationship, understanding the above is essential.

Talking about masculine power, at least in recent times, many men are confronted with the accusation of being toxic. We’ve covered this topic in a different article , but let me tell you this:

TRUE AUTHENTIC MASCULINITY IS EVERYTHING BUT TOXIC. 

It’s part of the modern narrative to shun men for who they are and many rightfully suspect this to be part of a larger gradual agenda to destroy real relationships between men and women, and ultimately dismantle the family unit.

For a relationship to thrive you need a healthy balance of both.

A man, surefooted in his masculinity and a woman, settling in her femininity. Any other dynamic will face serious challenges and is destined to fail. Time and time again, we see it, and personally, I’ve been there many times myself.

I’ve given my power away for years as what I deemed to be sacrificing for my love, and each time was a painfully repeated lesson until I learned what was ultimately a harsh and undeniable truth.

AS A MAN, YOUR MASCULINITY IS FOUNDATIONAL TO ALL OF YOUR RELATIONSHIPS, ESPECIALLY THE ONE WITH YOURSELF.

To surrender this or downplay it for anyone, is to devalue your inherent power.

But what does it mean to “give your power away” as a man?

One of the most common examples of this can be seen in frequent acts of self-censorship and overly filtering thoughts, words and actions. Men who do this regularly are not being true to their values or virtues, typically out of fear of being ostracized or not fitting in. Men who constantly censor themselves or alter their opinions so as to not offend other people, especially women, are in turn giving their power away.

Not only does this result in a loss of respect from their partner, their peers, friends and/or family, this does long term internal damage as a loss of self-respect and dignity which can haunt through a lifetime and cause real trauma. As minor as this may seem, a simple compromise of truth or an occasional white lie, it is a habit of dishonesty to oneself and can easily become a learned character flaw if unchecked.

Seeking the approval of women or other men is also a huge red flag. Being in your personal power means standing strong and firm in your own truth, regardless of who’s around.

A true man does not care about being liked or disliked. He leads the way of his calling, his designated path whether others follow or not. He does not seek permission to do what he understands to be the right thing. He just does.

Men being labeled as toxically masculine comes from the misconception that they are disrespectful and reckless, the oblivious alpha bully, disregarding other people’s needs and overstepping their boundaries left and right.

But being secure in your masculinity means you are in control, you’re composed and calmly confident. There is no need to impress others or intimidate them.

You know yourself, your strengths and weaknesses, and function within them accordingly, as well as show respect for other people’s boundaries and personal space.

Losing composure, overstepping boundaries and flexing aggressively intimidating behavior are all signs of a weak, insecure man. A man who is not connected to his true power and therefore tries to compensate by overpowering others.

A MAN CONNECTED TO HIS POWER FEELS NO NEED TO INTIMIDATE OR DOMINATE.

But as long as you’re giving your power away and disconnected from who you really are, you’ll likely fall into this behavior by default, even if you don’t intend to do so. Or, another common behavior is to cower and hide from the world, afraid of what others may think of you.

Don’t you think it’s time to connect to your true power?

To find out what masculine power really means and how you can connect, or reconnect, to it?

If this speaks to you, check out our program page and take this brief assessment to see if our MASCULINE POWER program is right for you.

I’m looking forward to hearing from you.

If you’d like to reach me personally, don’t hesitate to contact me at [email protected]

So long,

Orlando Owen

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Have relationships lost their value?

Have relationships lost their value?

And are we better off without?

With current divorce rates higher than ever, people becoming more and more non-committal, our friendships resorted to a text or a social media “like,” and the majority of online dating now being gamified to the point of casual sex at best.

This seems to be the direction we’re going if we haven’t already arrived.

REAL RELATIONSHIPS TAKE EFFORT

Is this the problem? Does the reward outweigh the work?

It takes real effort to build substantial relationships. You need to fully participate and actually put yourself out there. You need to share yourself. What you think, feel, observe, listen to, watch, what makes you tick – all of this is important.
And sharing it with those you care about, or seek to build a connection with, is part of the exchange. It requires honesty and vulnerability. Sure, it may be easier and more comfortable to type out your feelings and thoughts, edit them to perfection, and then send them off via text to your friend, or your potential love interest. And this is everyday communication. But to build a deeper bond, a meaningful connection with someone, you must allow yourself to BE. To be YOURSELF. And to be ok with sharing your real thoughts and feelings, in real time, with another individual while they share theirs with you.

There is a true magic and invaluable beauty that shines through these moments of genuine sharing. A strong force of energy and chemistry can spark between two people during the experience. This is what we hope to find when putting ourselves out there with a potential partner, as well as with friends and associates.

By doing so, however, you are making yourself vulnerable which can be scary in that you may be faced with a situation that brings up your insecurities and self-doubts. It may trigger a fear of being inadequate. Of not being good enough, smart enough, attractive enough, funny enough, strong enough, etc. Not enough – period. The fear of possibly being uninteresting to them, a turn off, or simply not being worth their time or company.

This can be frightening if you’re not in a balanced emotional state or mindset.

But the truth is, to build any meaningful connection with anyone, you need to be yourself. You need to be honest and present with yourself and the other person. It is an energy exchange that requires truth and attention.

The more you give, if the connection is right and genuine, the more you will receive.

And even if it happens to be a mismatch. A person that you just don’t click with or end up sharing a connection with that you desire. By you being your true and honest self, this will more quickly determine the outcome. The more you approach any potential relationship as yourself, the more you strip away much of the unnecessary “acting” and deciphering what’s real and what’s not. This helps you both in getting to the point of whether you actually want to build something with this person or not, and vice-versa.

There may be moments of discomfort in this but it’s much better and requires much less time and energy than putting on an act of “your best self” until you can’t any longer, only to discover that you aren’t even interested in pursuing a potential relationship with this person.

HOW CAN YOU CONNECT WITH ANOTHER PERSON IF YOU’RE RARELY CONNECTED WITH YOURSELF?

Presence is everything, and many people are anywhere and everywhere but here and now. Our fast-paced rush culture and omnipresent virtual lifestyle makes it harder for us to stay connected to ourselves. We’re rushing from one place to the other, from one relationship to the next, with no time to reflect on us, on what we truly want and need.

The deeper the disconnect with yourself, the harder it is to connect to other people.

Connecting with yourself isn’t easy and shouldn’t be put on the backburner as something you’ll do when you can spare some time. It takes consistent effort and honest work. It means self-examining, facing your fears, doubts, insecurities and imperfections. Analyzing your life, past and present, to help enrich your current relationship with you, as well as with others.

Without this inner presence of being connected to your true self, your ability to build and sustain any substantial relationships will be limited at best. This applies to romantic relationships, friendships, as well as business relations.

If you want to discover how to actively build more meaningful relationships in the future and strengthen your existing ones, visit our program section and see if it’s the right fit for you.

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Masculine Power vs. Feminine Power

At their core, masculine power is very different from feminine power.

However, society will lead us to believe there is only one kind of power – the masculine. In a historical leadership context, this may hold truth as the majority of leaders have indeed been men. The interpretation here could be that a woman must learn to become strong like a man, or masculine, to succeed, to lead, to be taken seriously in life, and to become powerful.

The opposite is actually true. Our image of what being masculine or feminine is, has become distorted by false imagery and agenda driven propaganda to the point of mass confusion. It’s understandable that our perception is unclear as to what masculine power and feminine power is and how they differ, but this doesn’t make it acceptable.

Our stereotypical viewpoint of being feminine as a woman, for example, is associated with being submissive, timid, weak, conditioned to be nice, tame and proper.

On the contrary, the real strength of a woman lies in her feminine power which is completely disarming through grace, composure, and strong will.

A feminine woman is independent and strong, connected to her truth, relaxed in her being, and confident in her purpose.

She knows her self-worth, is unwavering in her word and follows her immutable intuition to help lead her through her life’s path.

A man that is connected to his masculine power has a strong sense of his reality, stands behind his principles, and has a clear purpose in life.

He knows his path and will follow his purpose, with or without a crowd to support him. He is a true alpha. A leader of his own destiny.

A domineering man, on the other hand, is almost the exact opposite of a true alpha. He is insecure and disconnected from his true source of power, therefore he needs a crowd of others around him for constant support, ego boosts, and he typically insults others to feel superior. This energy is destructive and in no way reflects authentic masculine power.

One way to test and measure the levels of authentic masculine power and feminine power is to observe one’s romantic relationship. If the woman plays more of the dominant role in the relationship, there is a good chance of imbalance whereas she is stripping her man of his masculine power, thus leading him to be the submissive one in the relationship. The roles are reversed in terms of a traditional dynamic where the man is generally the dominant and the woman is the submissive.

The same applies for men who give away all of their power in their relationship. If the man is constantly trying to appease his woman, putting her and her needs above his own, and making her the center of his entire life, he’s living in a codependent energy. He’s playing the feminine which puts her in position to lead as the masculine energy in the relationship.

To be clear about the above examples, there is naturally a varying balance between both. It’s rare in any substantial relationship where one completely dominates and the other completely submits in every aspect of their relationship. The examples are to help differentiate between true masculine power and authentic feminine power.

In conclusion, no one in either scenario is connected to their own inherent power, masculine or feminine. Relationships like these are operating from an unnatural root and most commonly fail and destruct quickly, or only sustain to become codependent or abusive.

If you want to connect to your personal power and live in your greater purpose – men, you must learn to connect to your masculine energy – and women, you must learn to connect to your feminine energy. It’s inherent and it’s imperative.

THERE IS NOTHING EVOLVED OR PROGRESSIVE ABOUT DISMISSING YOUR MASCULINE OR FEMININE POWER.

Learn to embrace it, nurture, and share it with your loved ones and the world around you. Start living life as your true, authentic self.

Contact us today to learn more about our programs on Masculine Power and Feminine Power. Email [email protected] and type “Masculine Power” and/or “Feminine Power” in the subject line.

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Are feminine women weak?

Masculinity and femininity are both stigmatized in our culture. Masculinity in men is largely characterized as being toxic and domineering, while femininity in women is synonymous with being submissive, weak and dependent. In other words, women can easily be viewed as secondary in our patriarchal society.

But are feminine women truly weak? Are they deemed less “powerful” than men by way of birth?

As ridiculous as this may sound, in many ways it is what our social programming and cultural conditioning teaches us from a young age on through adulthood.

With the toxic masculinity narrative that is now mainstream and fully embedded into our language and acceptance, this can be seen as a way to soften and tame men, shaming them from their inherent masculine power.

If this is the case with masculinity and where we’ve allowed it to devolve to, where does this leave women in regard to femininity?

ARE WOMEN  REALLY CONNECTED TO THEIR TRUE AUTHENTIC POWER IN OUR SOCIETY?

In modern times, a woman who looks up to her husband and is the essential “follower” in their relationship is frowned upon in society. She’s secondary, an assistant to the “man in charge.” Someone you do not take seriously.

On the contrary however, for a relationship to work, there must be a follower and a leader. In a healthy relationship, this dynamic often varies and shifts per the responsibilities of the relationship. For instance, the husband may lead he and his wife toward their financial responsibilities and goals, while the wife may lead the way of their family and child rearing decisions.

Does this mean the “follower” in the relationship is powerless, or inferior? Not at all, it’s quite the opposite.

As an analogy, if you look at couple dance, specifically ballroom dance, you’ll quickly see that it takes both people to play their parts for the dance to be harmonious. It’s an act of true partnership as both parts are equally important. Without one, the other would not exist.

The same principle is valid for relationships. There cannot be leaders alone. Leaders need followers in order for things to progress. Leadership and followership are very much parallel in the way of the femininity and masculinity dynamic. And beyond romantic relationships, much of this can be applied to friendships and business relationships as well.

IN THE FLOW OF NATURE, MASCULINITY AND FEMININITY BALANCE EACH OTHER. WE NEED BOTH.

Learn more about our Feminine Power and/or Masculine Power programs by reaching out to us via email at [email protected]

Write “FEMININE / MASCULINE” in the subject line.